Project NK Ranma
by The Altered Destinies
Summary: Ranma lands in the Mishima Heavy Industries testing ground
1. Chapter 1

Rating: Most audiences approved. Contains some coarse language.

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted 1998 by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and anyone else who rightfully owns the copyrights. All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is copyrighted 1992 by Yuuzou Takada. This fanfic was written entirely for entertainment purposes and NOT for monetary benefit. Please don't sue me. Any similarities with other fanfics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

This is my second attempt at a decent fanfic. This also happens to be my first attempt at prose. Be lenient.

Information is based on the author's experience of the two series, meaning a truckload of Ranma 1/2 but an OAV and a few fics of Nuku Nuku. Japanese will only be used when necessary, and NOT to show that this author can look up lots of words and phrases she does not understand in a Japanese-English dictionary, or show that she can write Japanese in English when others don't have a clue what any of it means.

Some parts of this fanfic were influenced by Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. If you haven't read any of them, shame on you.

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAANNNNNNNMMMMMMMAAAAAAA!"

The scream could be heard loud and clear on this Sunday morning. It shattered nearby windows. Birds hastily went airborne in effort to get away. Fresh plaster a block away could be seen melting under the massive noise pollution. The scream could have unnerved any tourist or person new to the Nerima district, but to many of the local residents, specifically and especially the Tendou dojo, this blood-curdling yell was all too commonplace. In fact, many of the residents had set their daily schedules by the screaming. Ask anyone on the same block as the Tendou training hall. They'll probably say they never set their alarm clocks. And they'll be right.

The screaming stopped for an instant, then a window could be heard smashing and an young man seen flying out. Underneath the window, two middle-aged men were cheating at shogi and drinking sake. They both looked up at the window for a moment, then turned their gazes to the person gaining altitude high in the sky.

"How far do you think he'll fly this time, Saotome?" one of them asked as they watched the unfortunate person getting smaller and smaller in the horizon.

"I don't know Tendou," the other replied, adjusting his spectacles on his heavily built face. "Maybe he'll get as far as the park, or possibly the skating rink."

Because this event occurred at least once a day, the two grown men would always debate where the young person would land, just to pass the time. It goes to show some people have SO much time on their hands. The first person rubbed his moustache thoughtfully.

"No way Genma, he landed in the park fountain last time, and the skating rink is in the other direction," he said.

"Well, I hope he doesn't land in the bath house again. Remember that, Soun?"

"Yes I remember, I'm still paying for all the damage THAT caused."

"Aheh..."

RANMA 1/2 and ALL-PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU NUKU

PROJECT NK-RANMA

Written by Celeste Byrd

CHAPTER ONE: An Overdose of Heaven

The sudden rush, the feeling of wind on your face when soaring high in the sky can be the most exhilarating experience in the world. Defying the laws of gravity, only to have them come running back and crashing back down on you...

Certainly Saotome Ranma had this happen to him on a regular basis. So regular, that he had enough frequent flyer miles to purchase a round trip to England ten times over. Of course, it would be a lot cheaper just to get Akane angry at him and punt him in the general direction, but that would be so much more painful.

Ranma opened his eyes and gazed at the clear blue sky and the beautiful sunrise. If anything, he could trust the landing would be a lot less painful than what he would have received had he eaten Akane's cooking. Of course, why else would he be setting a world record for highest altitude attained without jet assisted take-off?

"Let's see," mused Ranma as he waited for the sky to stop getting intimate so he could enjoy the trip into the wonderful world of pain, "I've already passed the Nekohanten, so I can't land there. Ucchan's is thataway, so I can't go there right now. There's the high school, the bridge, the train station, the bath house..."

Ranma shuddered as he recalled that particular incident. "Nevermind," he said aloud. "Down there's that bar pop and Mr. Tendou keep sneaking off to, there's the park over there..."

He noticed the air currents starting to slow down and change direction, and the horizon seemed a little farther off than usual. He thought about it for a second before reaching one of the greatest analytical conclusions of all time; he was starting to fall.

No wait, there was more to that. He was starting to fall... down! Wait, not finished yet... falling... down... from high place! Falling. High. Falling down fast. Very fast. Ranma briefly wondered upon the outcome of all this when his brain decided to helpfully supply the answer.

(Down + High) * Fast = Pain = More pain = Hurt. Lots.

There are plenty of more stupider ways to break down a thought than into mathematical equations. Ranma couldn't think of one at all.

"Argh," Ranma said to the world.

"Damn," he added.

"Shit." This one was pointless.

"Help?" This one was also pointless, but he said it anyway.

"No, it can't get any worse than this." This he definitely should NOT have said.

In order to understand why, one must understand the effects of karma. In fact, a good model for this demonstration would have to be a karmic wheel, spinning out its 'injustice' and 'equity'. Upon closer inspection of Ranma's however, one would have noticed the wheel was missing a few spokes where it said 'Equity.'

Because of this, another thing was added to Ranma's list of injuries in the form of a helicopter. Namely, a helicopter with POISON FOUR painted on the side in bright red letters.

Ranma yelled and swerved out of the way of the deadly rotors, only to hit his head on one of four massive cannons attached to the wings.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLYING!" he swore as the helicopter slowly disappeared from his line of sight, "THIS AIRSPACE AIN'T JUST FOR THE LIKES OF YOU, YA KNOW!"

Ten seconds later, the ground came up to meet him.

"Did you hear something?" Kyouko asked.

"Don't think so," answered Arisa, delibrately trying not to look at her partner. The last time she was distracted, Arisa had by accident rammed POISON THREE into the Mishima Heavy Industries testing site, knocking out several RTY Prototypes and blowing up half of all the others. However refreshing it was for Arisa, Natsume Akiko, the granddaughter of the head of MHI wasn't very pleased at all with her conduct.

"I'm sure I distinctly heard something 'bounce' off the copter!" Kyouko whined.

Arisa turned to glare at Kyouko before remembering to watch where she was going. At the same time, Akiko's face appeared on the Satellite enHanced Intercommunications Telescreen.

"How is the POISON working out?" she asked in a neutral tone. Akiko was not one to lie at; the liar would soon find himself cornered in alleyway by several attack mecha with weapons drawn before he could even finish his sentence. Not that there were many alleys in Nerima, but the mechs could probably make one.

"It's passed three of the four tests, ma'am," said Kyouko.

"The fourth is really up to Arisa now."

"The fourth would be...?" Akiko left the sentence to be finished with an edge to her voice. Kyouko gulped before continuing.

"The fourth's to see if this baby can destroy that android!" Arisa spoke before her, rather enthusiastically. Arisa relieved stress by blowing things up.

"I see." Akiko was a little calmer. "Be sure that my son is not harmed like the last time."

"Yes, ma'am," Kyouko bowed. A week ago, Akiko's son, Ryunosuke, had only hurt his hand from pushing his mother out of the way of a weapon barrage aimed for the NK-1124, but it didn't matter WHAT had happened. Ryunosuke had gotten hurt, and his mother would not tolerate it. The main reason they were still working under Akiko was because she wanted her son back from her husband badly. It was her only weakness.

"Remember, hurt my son in any way and you both know what the consequences are...!"

Silence.

"That means no more weapons, Arisa."

"Aww!"

Akane was not in a good mood. Well, she was rarely in a good mood anyway, but today was even more exceptional.

The day started off quite well. Her eldest sister, Kasumi, had been washing and drying the laundry in the back yard. Nabiki, her second sister, was off at the Kunou mansion to sell more pictures of Ranma-chan in the most alluring poses. Her father and Saotome-san were in the back of the house playing shogi by the koi pond. Mrs. Saotome was out shopping for groceries. Ukyou and Shampoo were minding their restaurants, so a visit from any of the two other fiancées wasn't expected. Even Ranma hadn't said a single nasty word to her today. Akane felt so happy that see decided to celebrate such a wonderful morning.

By baking a batch of what she considered her best cookies ever.

Despite several setbacks in her previous attempts at cooking, Akane was certain that these were good. In fact, she was so completely sure that she went out looking for Ranma (who mysteriously disappeared) to test them. Nabiki had once commented that she could sell them to the military as biological weapons, and Ranma had asked if she had ever tasted her own food before giving it to other people, but she would not be deterred. Why would anyone try out their own food first when they can let others have it? They were the finest she had ever made!

When she found Ranma in his room reading and offered them to him, he openly refused. To make matters worse, Ranma also had to add a comment about the cookies being a threat to all humankind. That was enough to spoil Akane's mood, rise the temperature in the immediate area to the equivalent of a fusion reactor, and punch Ranma hard enough to send him out a window and into the clear morning sky.

Natsume Kyusaku was also having a bad day.

Trying very hard to concentrate, the teacher/inventor/ex-employee of MHI/separated husband of Akiko was inspecting a delicate piece of hardware. It was very delicate, minute, high-tech, and above all EXPENSIVE; the main reason he had gone through about twenty of them. He wasn't having a bad day because of a few broken toys, he was pissed because his next achievement depended on him NOT breaking so many toys. Using a pair of tweezers, he carefully moved the object into an uncovered petri-dish. He then slid a laser torch and an electron sight over the dish and looked at the object from his computer screen nearby. Using his mouse, he highlighted the section on the chip he wanted to etch and zoomed in. Taking the cigerette out of his mouth and into an ashtray, he slowly lined up the crosshair to the suspect area. He flipped a switch and tediously turned the knob to adjust wattage...

"Good morning, Papa-san!"

Startled, Kyusaku slipped and upped the power to about 10,000 watts. The microchip lit up in a pale reddish hue for a moment before exploding violently in a shower of blue sparks. He stared at the remains of his work before taking a deep drag out of his cigarette. He then turned and glared at the person who had interrupted him.

"Nuku Nuku! How many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm working?"

Kyusaku's 'daughter' Natsume Atsuko, or Nuku Nuku to many and NK-1124 to few, is basically a kitty cat inside a cybernetic body. Having a cat's brain, Nuku Nuku had a hard time understanding certain human traits. Of course, to all the boys at her school, her desirably buxom body more than made up for it. If she had noticed the edge in her Papa-san's voice, she either ignored it or wasn't capable of handling it.

"I made breakfast, Papa-san! Eat it or it'll get cold!"

It was hard to stay mad at the catgirl for long, so Kyusaku sighed and looked wistfully at the remains of his project. Oh well, I suppose I'll fix the toaster turbocharge heatsink problem later, he thought sadly.

Of course, 'Akane's finest ever' meant that the cookies were well designed for their aerodynamic properties as well as for their ability to disembowel a person when thrown hard from about two hundred metres. Edibility was more or less optional in this case.

These thoughts were passing through Ranma's head right now as he remembered WHY he had plunged to his untimely 'demise.' If I get out of here, he reflected, I'll give her a piece of my mind.

If she's not angry anymore, he added.

Groaning, he slowly lifted himself onto his elbows before falling back down. He tried once more before realizing the futility of his actions. Lying in the crater he had created, Ranma blissfully remained still, eyes closed, letting his quick healing abilities kick in. Once he felt himself get stronger he forcefully opened his eyes and tried again. Groggily, he crawled out of the hole and stretched his arms out above his head before letting them fall to his sides.

"Oh man," Ranma thought, "that one really hurt this time. Wonder why she's getting more and more violent lately? All I did was say her cookies were probably an experiment from the American Biological Weapons Facility gone horribly right..." Ranma wasn't sure if there WAS such thing as the ABWF, but that didn't stop Akane from hitting him.

Once his eyes came back into focus, only then did he look around. What he saw astonished and awed him beyond belief. He was in some type of munition plant, he was sure of that. Rows and rows of machinery were lined up ready to go through rigourous testing at the far end of the room. Looking up, Ranma craned his neck to gape at the hole in the ceiling. That's funny, he thought, I don't remember falling into a building.

Shrugging his shoulders and rubbing a bruised arm, Ranma trundled off looking for a way out...

"Someone to see you, Mrs. Natsume," the voice of Akiko's secretary came over.

Akiko put down the paper she was reading. "Who is it?"

"A technician from level 4 ops says that you sent for her."

"Did I?"

Pause. "Shall I send her in?"

Akiko thought for a moment. "Fine, go right ahead," she said.

A moment later, a young woman walked in. She had short blonde hair and was wearing a white lab coat with strange brown splotches and a frazzled headset around her neck. She gave a polite bow to Akiko, who returned it.

Akiko shuffled some papers on her desk. "Make it quick."

The technician bowed her head. "I'm sorry ma'am," she said, "but you know that strange thing I picked up on the sensors earlier, and you said to continue monitoring it and notify you if something happened?"

Akiko looked up at her. "Did I?" she asked.

"Um, sensors have confirmed the object to be human and it has landed in the Mishima testing facility..."

"Okay, send a security level 2 squad to apprehend the intruder..." Akiko said absent-mindedly. She suddenly bolted upright. "A human being you say fell INTO the facility?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Which one?"

The technician regarded her folder for a moment. "The TSI branch, ma'am."

"Isn't that facility UNDERGROUND?"

"Er, yes ma'am."

"Human?"

"Um, that's what the sensors say."

"Better send a level 7 squad instead."

There are eight different levels of security and military defense at Mishima Heavy Industries. A level 1 squad would simply be retrained ex-police officers, the type that would be in any office building. A level 2 defense would be a standard SWAT team with AK-47s in full body armour, and level 3 would be a small armed force consisting of MA-021 military droids.

A level 7 defense force is a small BATTERY of SNK-60 battle mechs, good for defending any small country. And of course, level 8 is just a tiny unit designed to fight the NK-1124, who could destroy all of MHI's military defenses in a few tries. Well, it would be at it all week, but still... The technician gulped and said, "do you think that's a good idea, ma'am?"

Akiko looked at the technician coldly. "Yes, I think it's a good idea. After all, it was one of mine."

After the technician had left Akiko sighed and rubbed her eyes. Nuku Nuku also showed up on the sensors as human, but MHI had recalibrated them to detect when the NK-1124 was around. Nuku Nuku often came under the orders of Kyusaku to destroy any potentially threatening projects. How the great inventor knew about any of them was anybody's guess. For instance, he could know about the new SNK-120s being tested in that facility, and reconfigured Nuku Nuku again.

Akiko thought for a moment before pressing a button underneath her desk. In a few seconds, Arisa's face appeared on the S.H.I. Telescreen.

"Hello boss!" Arisa greeted cheerfully.

"Arisa, land the new POISON FOUR helicopter and apprehend the intruder in the TSI facility. You may use the new HV-27 bodysuits."

Arisa's eyes lit up. "Yes, ma'am!"

Ranma could hear alarm klaxons in the distance.

"Shit! They know I'm here, whoever they are!" he thought as he broke into a run. He was about to turn a corner when he collided into something very hard and very unforgiving. Slowly looking up, Ranma met the gaze of a very large android pointing its massive plasma cannon at him.

"Don't even move, buster," it said as Ranma could hear the guns charging up.

After repeated delays, my second fanfic project ever is underway! Did I screw up the Nuku Nuku characters in any way? If you think yes, this person OBVIOUSLY didn't watch enough to get a feel of the characters, or no, this person has a hard enough foundation to continue, send your comments to [nshampoo .com] and I'll reply as soon as I can.

Special thanks to Richard Lawson, for his suggestions and information on the Nuku Nuku characters. Special thanks should also be extended to Wade Tritschler, for proofing and supporting my writing style.

Until the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: Most audiences approved. Contains coarse language and violence.

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted 1998 by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and anyone else who rightfully owns the copyrights. All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is copyrighted 1992 by Yuuzou Takada. This fanfic was written entirely for entertainment purposes and NOT for monetary benefit. Please don't sue me. Any similarities with other fanfics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

This is my second attempt at a decent fanfic. This also happens to be my first attempt at prose. Be lenient.

Information is based on the author's experience of the two series, meaning a truckload of Ranma 1/2 but an OAV and a few fics of Nuku Nuku. Japanese will only be used when necessary, and NOT to show that this author can look up lots of words and phrases she does not understand in a Japanese-English dictionary, or show that she can write Japanese in English when others don't have a clue what any of it means.

Some parts of this fanfic were influenced by Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. If you haven't read any of them, shame on you.

If you've just stumbled upon this, please read the previous chapter to understand anything in this one.

Kyusaku looked up sharply as he heard his computer beep at him. That only happened if the hidden cameras he installed at Mishima Heavy Industries picked up anything out of the ordinary. Dropping his next project, he rushed to the computer and pressed a few buttons. Sitting down, several screens popped up from the table and came to life, showing the inside of the TSI facility.

"Wonder what's happening?"

Kyusaku's question was abruptly answered as he stared at the one screen of a young person being trapped by one of the new HV-27s. On the other screens, masses of SNK-60s could be seen blocking corridors leading out of the complex. Kyusaku stared incredulously.

Kyusaku typed something, and the words RECORDING SCREEN 3 appeared on the central screen. He put his cigarette into an ashtray and grinned maniacally.

"Akiko probably thinks *I* sent the boy in! She's in for a lot of trouble, attacking a harmless kid!"

Kyusaku frowned as the situation finally dawned on him. Someone was about to get seriously hurt.

RANMA 1/2 and ALL-PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU NUKU

PROJECT NK-RANMA

Written by Celeste Byrd

CHAPTER TWO: Lasers and Cannons and Explosives, Oh My!

"I wouldn't run if I were you," suggested Arisa through her microphone. All of the HV-27's weapons (Yes, all 35 of them) were trained on the young man's head. Much to her astonishment however, the boy wasn't cowering in fear, like a normal teenager in the face of enough weaponry for another World War. In fact, he had a mild air of surprise mixed with alarm and was poking at Arisa's bodysuit with interest. This got Arisa extremely angry. "Aren't you even gonna plead for mercy?" she asked.

"Why should I?" Ranma replied as he continued to inspect the battle mech.

Although she was protected with over thirteen inches of armour plating, Arisa felt very uncomfortable under the examination. Moreover, the boy examining her was pretty cute. Had they've been in different circumstances (and had he been a few years older) she might have asked him out. So she was very relieved when the rest of the troops filed in and Ranma turned to glance at them.

"Arisa, wait!"

Kyouko, sporting a similar mech, ran up to Arisa as Ranma watched on.

"The boss said to APPREHEND the intruder, not kill him!" she pleaded.

Arisa hadn't blown anything up since yesterday, so she was feeling rather stressed. Cute or not cute. "So what?!" she yelled. "I haven't been able to test POISON FOUR out yet, the android hasn't come around today, and nothing has threatened the corporation. What d'ya expect me to do?!"

"Arisa, just calm down. Arisa..." She turned her back on Kyouko, ignoring her. Arisa then concentrated on the intruder.

"Put your hands up in the air or I'll blast you into the next millennia!" he shouted at Ranma.

"Can I leave after that?" Ranma asked.

Now infuriated by Ranma's rather stupid question, Arisa opened fire. The SNK-60s followed suit. Ranma soon found himself dodging plasma, laser beams and artillery barrages. The room filled with the sounds of gunfire, the smells of charred metal, and the impressive sight of a single two metre by two metre area being bombarded with over a ton of ammunition.

When the smoke cleared, Ranma was no longer there. Arisa stopped firing, and looked around. Where did that boy disappear? Surely he'd have screamed if he'd been underneath the assault.

That was when several SNK-60s started firing at her head. Arisa frantically avoided the attacks while waving the HV's arms wildly.

"HEY! STOP FIRING NOW!" Arisa shouted out. Instantly, the SNK-60s stopped their antics. Arisa whirled on them.

"YOU STUPID PIECES OF TRASH! DO I 'LOOK' LIKE THE INTRUDER TO YOU?!" she yelled.

"No, but you sure do look like an idiot."

Arisa checked the HV's visuals surrounding her and came up with nothing. How did that boy run away so easily? Kyouko was missing too, but that didn't bother Arisa all that much.

"Yo, up here."

Arisa changed the visuals to look directly at her own mech. Ranma was perched on the hardsuit's head, an expression of boredom plain on his face.

"Is this ALL you guys can do?" he asked.

Arisa tried to club Ranma off, but he had already jumped down and assumed a ready stance.

"Your move," he taunted.

Truly enraged, Arisa threw everything she had at the egotistical boy. Missiles flew out of hidden flanks. Blazing white plasma shot out of the cannons. Chain-guns started to overheat from firing 60 rounds a second. Laser and electrical fire erupted from the SNK-60s. But alas, Ranma continually weaved in and out of the assault. Stray bursts of artillery stuck inactive prototypes on the racks, effectively destroying them. Those not catching on fire disintegrated from the intense heat in the complex.

Ranma bounced around to avoid all the mecha that started to explode into flames. This sent him into a small alcove in the damaged wall. Arisa saw this as a great time to get him. She took aim and fired her 210mm M86A45 howitzer. Any ordinary person would have simply been reduced to a pile of ash, but of course, Ranma is no ordinary man. He simply bounced out and sideways, letting the 210mm-shell fly past his face. Where Ranma stepped he left a small trail of destruction. Many of the SNK-60s overheated and burst into flame. However good Ranma was at evasion, there were simply too many mechs in the immediate area. Ranma felt something behind him, and was too late to dodge. Streams of laser fire ripped through his shoulder and his side. Fortunately, the heat of the beams was hot enough to clot the blood before his silken Chinese shirt got even bloodier. Ranma dropped his usual comical expression as he winced in pain. As he rubbed his shoulder, something in the back of his mind stirred. In his condition, Ranma didn't notice.

"Oy, looks like I have to get serious!"

However serious Ranma wanted to be, his adversaries were a hell of a lot more of it. As Ranma jumped back into the fight, three SNKs closed in around him. Ranma decked two of them and was rounding on the third when it picked him up by the shirt and tossed him away. This would have been fine for the martial arts master, who practised bracing for falls every single day. But there was only one small TINY problem about this; the SNK was still gripping his clothing.

"Kasumi? Kasumi?"

Kasumi turned around and smiled at her younger sister. "What is it, Akane?" she asked tenderly.

Akane looked guilty for a moment. "Have you seen Ranma?"

Kasumi thought about it. "No, I haven't seen him ever since he went out the window today. He isn't hurt, is he?"

Akane looked even guiltier. "No, I don't think so, but I haven't seen him around since..."

"He might be with Ukyou or Shampoo right now." Perhaps Kasumi shouldn't have worded it like that.

All thoughts of guilt vanished as Akane grew angrier and angrier at the thought of Ranma out with either of his fiancees. "GRR! I bet he's kissing Shampoo right now! Or maybe he's at a restaurant with Ukyou and laughing at me! Or he's probably kissing both AND laughing at me! Or maybe he's even..."

Kasumi watched Akane ball her fists and walk away, her translucent blue battle aura barely kept in check. The wall beside her flared up and then caught fire.

"Oh my," she thought.

"Hey, that was my favourite shirt!"

Ranma slowly got up and rubbed his head as every single mecha in the room trained their weapons on him. He checked himself over and gasped. Kneeling down, he picked up slivers of his Chinese shirt and gripped them in his hands. Staring at the tatters of red silk, Ranma suddenly felt his control slipping away...

Ranma felt in a daze, and before he knew what was happening, he had smashed up another twenty-four SNKs. Severed parts went flying in all directions. Almost everything caught on fire. Ranma could feel five or more mecha closing on him once again. He had managed to pummel most of them into oblivion when a laser shot out of nowhere and cut into his thigh, causing him to scream in pain. Ranma tried to regain control again, but whatever had taken over his mind was resisting hard. Trying to ignore the pain in his leg, Ranma rose and stared at the ones who ruined the shirt his mother gave to him. His thoughts told him these machines were not very nice, and played unfairly.

Not NICE? PLAYED unfairly?

"What the?" he thought.

Ranma is very slow when it came to understanding anything. In fact, normally he'd been the sixth person to admit it. But coupled with his ego, and fuelled by his stubborness...

Ranma ran out of the scenario and decked the editor, knocking him out cold and preventing his intervention for the next few chapters. There was a cheer from the author, who decided then to eat a fish cake and take a short nap. When she woke up, she put on her glasses, turned on the horrible computation device from Hell, laughed a bone-chilling maniacal laugh, and started typing.

This may be true, but even RANMA could figure out something was wrong inside the recesses of his head. He couldn't put a finger on it, mostly because of the dire need of pain killers but MAINLY because you can't stick your finger into your skull in the conventional way without serious repercussions.

But in the METAPHORICAL sense, Ranma couldn't put a finger on it because his thoughts suddenly vanished, leaving nothing but furious rage. If Arisa looked into Ranma eyes at that moment, she would have noticed a fire burning in his eyes with an almost... feline quality.

Ranma was tired of playing. It wasn't fun anymore, because they didn't do anything but shoot lots of stuff at him. In fact, he was getting throughly bored.

When a cat gets bored, it tries to entertain itself. Usually at the expense of others.

With a feline yowl, Ranma charged through the masses of robots. As they raised their arms to fire, Ranma shred the extended joints, tore them out of their sockets and bashed them on their owners' head. Sparks flew as he leapt from robot to robot, tearing off limbs and beating others senseless. Arisa watched slack-jawed as Ranma waded through the mass of mecha, snapping the battle mecha like twigs. Arisa aimed her massive weapon at the berserked boy, ready to take him down. Ranma noticed the cannon too late as it blew him off his feet and into a concrete wall, creating a small crater. Arisa was about to crack a smile when Ranma slowly got out and knelt on his knees, hissing.

"WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE!" Arisa yelled.

Growling, Ranma rushed up to the HV-27 and clawed at the suit, ripping it to shreds. Some of the sharp jagged streamers tore through his skin, but Ranma was too angry to care. He leapt back into the large pile of broken parts. When he was at the centre of the destruction, Ranma spinned a few times on his good leg before raising his bloodied fist into the air.

"HHIIRRYYUUUU SSHHOOUUTTEENN HHAA!"

The chi in Ranma's body suddenly cooled as the dragon flew out of his extended hand. It rose high and punched a hole in the ceiling, expanding all the time. The now tremendously powerful twister raged uncontrollably, absorbing all the heat generated by the destruction Ranma had caused earlier. Twelve square kilometres of the leading edge in technology suddenly became twelve square kilometres of violent storm. Too much pressure caused the tempest to subside, only to have the entire complex explode in a blast of pale blue energy.

Kyusaku watched the six-minute tape for the tenth time, up until the point his cameras were destroyed by heavy winds. He put down the bag of popcorn and clapped heartily. Nothing like a good fight at MHI to lighten the spirits! He lit another cigarette and contemplated his newly acquired information.

"That kid's got some serious power... he's almost as good as my greatest creation, Nuku Nuku..."

Kyusaku paused. Project NK-1124, the technical term of the cat-girl, he considered his best project to date. Based on his research about eight years ago, the principles behind it were to connect a cat's brain into an MHI prototype android, and have it exist as the machine's CPU. A cyborg, of sorts. It took him several months to develop the concept, and about four years to perfect the technology. Kyusaku had hidden the information from his wife, afraid she would use it to turn military droids into cybernetic mercenaries. But for him to have perfected the technology, he'd have to have used it, and often.

And he had. Project NK-1078.

Kyusaku jerked out of his reverie. Come to think about it, that boy in the video reminded him of it. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was the willingness to survive? Project NK-1078 was full of bugs, and Kyusaku constantly had to rewrite his designs. The brain he used was on the verge of deterioration, but it endured long enough for Kyusaku to finally get the project complete. Its final serial number was NKR-1078. Certain that he had seen the boy from somewhere, Kyusaku cycled back the recording until the boy's face could be seen. He peered at it closely before shaking his head.

"Not clear enough, huh." The picture was too fuzzy for him to make out any proper details.

Kyusaku magnifyed the image, fixed the contrast and filtered out the background noise. When the image was clear enough did he try again. It was an image of a rather handsome young man with dark brown eyes and ebony black hair. Kyusaku gasped and the cigarette hanging from his mouth dropped to the ground, extinguishing as it hit the floor. He could recognize that youth anywhere!

"I don't believe it! After all these years... Nuku Nuku!"

Nuku Nuku came bounding into the room. "Yes, Papa-san?" she asked.

Kyusaku pointed to the image of the boy's face. "I want you to go to Mama-san's work and get this boy out of there!"

"Okay, Papa-san!"

Kyusaku turned to the screen again and shook his head, the forgotten memories flooding back.

"All this time. Genma, after all this time..."

Oy! A tad too serious at places, I should think. Oh well, I hope not to repeat anything like this one again. Too taxing on the brain. Too many school projects are due soon so the third chapter will take some time to write. Oh well...

Send in your thoughts to [nshampoo .com] and I'll try and reply as soon as possible.

Special thanks to Richard Lawson, for his suggestions and information on the Nuku Nuku characters. Special thanks should also be extended to Wade Tritschler, for proofing and supporting my writing style.

Time to go back to the infernal abyss again. And I was doing so well, too...


	3. Chapter 3

Rating: Most audiences approved.

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted 1998 by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and anyone else who rightfully owns the copyrights. All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is copyrighted 1992 by Yuuzou Takada. This fanfic was written entirely for entertainment purposes and NOT for monetary benefit. Please don't sue me. Any similarities with other fanfics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

This is my second attempt at a decent fanfic. This also happens to be my first attempt at prose. Be lenient.

Information is based on the author's experience of the two series, meaning a truckload of Ranma 1/2 but an OAV and a few fics of Nuku Nuku. Japanese will only be used when necessary, and NOT to show that this author can look up lots of words and phrases she does not understand in a Japanese-English dictionary, or show that she can write Japanese in English when others don't have a clue what any of it means.

Some parts of this fanfic were influenced by Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. If you haven't read any of them, shame on you.

If you've just stumbled upon this, please read the previous chapters to understand anything in this one.

"Ranma my boy, where are you?"

"Here I am, poppa."

"Where? I don't see you!"

"Up here."

"Ah! Still practicing that technique I taught you, eh? Good. A true martial artist practices day and night until he has mastered any difficult move. You remind me of my younger times. Oh, the training... I heard you went to bed late last night. Where were you?"

"Practicing like you told me to, poppa."

"Good! No sacrifice is too great for the art. Even at ten years old you do your old man proud!"

"Thanks, father!"

"Now, I want you to learn the most powerful technique in the world; a technique so powerful no demon has dared oppose it. Even your own dad hasn't attempted to try it! But, if you master it, you'll bring honour to the Saotome School and name!"

"Wow, what do I have to do to learn it?"

"Well, first you wrap this around you like so."

"Okay. But what IS this stuff, poppa?"

"Fish sausages."

RANMA 1/2 and ALL-PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU NUKU

PROJECT NK-RANMA

Written by Celeste Byrd

CHAPTER THREE: The Other Side

"Ranma? Ranma?"

Ranma tried looking around him but could not see anything at all. It was as if a small spotlight was being shone on him from above, blinding him, preventing him from seeing beyond. He took a step, winced and looked down. He was sure his leg wasn't supposed to look like that, but it was hard to be sure of anything at the moment. He absent-mindedly rubbed his shoulder.

"Ranma? Ranma?"

He limped forward a few metres before staggering back again. Who was calling him? Where was he? Was this the afterlife? Was he dead? He took another look and snorted.

"If this is all to it, I'm wasting my time here. It's just a stupid flesh wound, after all. I don't remember dying and I sure ain't going to start!"

"What DOES Ranma remember?" the voice called out again.

Ranma attempted the EVER-so-complicated task of pinpointing the origin of the voice. And it was. The voice seemed to echo around him, reverberating against walls he could not see. He finally decided to content himself by simply staying put. If some mysterious voice wanted to talk to him so badly, it'd have to show itself first.

"No, it doesn't."

Ranma was now beginning to get incredibly pissed off. He didn't know where he was, his leg still hurt, he couldn't see, and someone was reading the back of his mind!

"Who the hell are you?" Ranma yelled.

There was a chuckle in the darkness, and a figure stepped into his line of vision. Ranma whirled on it and picked it up by the scurf of its neck.

"What's the big idea-?!" he yelled before realizing WHAT he had picked up. Ranma immediately screamed and froze up, dropping the body to the ground.

The small furry cat sighed, then changed its appearance to that of a young man with sharp emerald eyes and catlike ears. If it were not for these small details, he could have passed as Ranma's twin, and with just cause. There was the same dark hair tied in a tight pigtail. There were the same high cheekbones, the same firm musculature. Ranma's mother would have been proud. When he finally calmed down, he found himself looking into a mirror. At least, that's what he thought before the mirror spoke.

"Is Ranma better now?" the feline doppelganger asked.

Ranma indignantly pulled himself up. He was Saotome Ranma, eighteen years of age, the best martial artist of his time, and he damn well wasn't going to be afraid of some stupid cat-demon!

"Even in Ranma's subconscious he's afraid of cats. This is funny," the cat-boy laughed. "One of the greatest martial artists in the world can't even stand up to his own mind!"

Ranma was about to retort when something his counterpart said hit home.

"My own mind?! Ya mean..." Ranma began.

"...that Ranma is dreaming? Yes. That Ranma is really asleep? Yes. That all this is not real? No. It's the only way to talk to Ranma without spooking him right now."

"You've already done THAT already."

"Ranma-Neko would've talked to Ranma sooner, but all those metal things were there and it was fun to play with them!"

"Fun to play...? You mean you're the one who took over my mind?"

"Took over Ranma's mind? Ranma-Neko IS a part of Ranma's mind, dolt!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. So it's your fault for what I did back there!"

"So Ranma DOES remember what happened!"

"Whatyamean, I..." Ranma trailed off as the events in the facility replayed back to him with alarming clarity. He remembered a red haze falling over him and causing him to level the entire complex with a well-placed dragon's blast. Ranma mentally struggled with himself as he thought about his berserker rage. Why did he attack so violently? He could have just surrendered and let them lead him to their leader or whatever. They might have even let him go. "But nooo, you arrogant moron," he thought, "you just HAD to level the place. Why?"

"Ranma knows the reason, he's a student of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. There is NO such thing as surrender!"

"Hey, shut up you, I'm trying to argue with my subconscious here. It's your fault I did that back there!"

"No, it's not. It's our fault."

"How can it be OUR fault?!" There was a pause. "Why are you taking over my mind...?!"

Ranma-Neko sighed. "No one took over anyone's mind. Ranma-Neko is... a... part... of... Ranma's... mind!"

The message and the little details finally kicked into Ranma's thick skull. It's not that Ranma's not very bright, it's just that when he thinks of something, it takes a long time for him to let go of it. He's like a freight train. Hard to de-rail.

"So, I guess you're my cat side?" he asked warily.

"Yes. Whenever Ranma's fear of cats goes over the edge, Ranma-Neko takes over!"

"Why'dya take so long to TELL me all this?!"

Ranma-Neko looked away. A small tear formed and slowly worked its way down his cheek. He carefully wiped it away, afraid Ranma would see it. Ranma-Neko turned back to him.

"Don't know. Before, Ranma-Neko had no idea Ranma existed. Safer that way. When Ranma was playing with those machines, Ranma-Neko suddenly felt strange. Why was there someone in Ranma-Neko's head?"

"But it's NOT your head."

Ranma-Neko glared at him and Ranma hastily moved back. There was the suspicion of fire in those green eyes...

"Yes, it is! Does Ranma even KNOW what he is?"

Ranma drew himself up. Even if he WAS talking to his feline side, he would not be intimidated by anyone! Well, except for his mother, and Akane, and Nabiki, and Kodachi, and...

"Ranma is lucky to have mother. Ranma-Neko has nothing."

Ranma looked up. Why the change in topic? Ranma-Neko wasn't looking at him, but he could tell he was crying. Not one who knew much in the emotional department, Ranma silently waited for him to continue. It wasn't long in coming.

"Eight years ago, Ranma-Neko was hit by a car. Was still a kitten then, and almost dead. When woke up, Ranma-Neko felt weird, as if in a different body. Moved funny. Then didn't feel anything. When Ranma-Neko woke up again, he didn't know where he was but saw a big cat. It was fun to play with it, but then it ran away. Then, this girl gave me some catnip, and then I don't know what happened. Didn't know eight years had passed. Now, Ranma-Neko finds out someone else is in his mind for all this time and he can't do anything about it!"

Ranma-Neko sat down, staring at the floor. Ranma sat down beside him quietly. Ranma-Neko then turned and looked at him.

"I don't mind having Ranma in brain, but after eight years Ranma-Neko wants to move around by himself. Wants to see everything Ranma is seeing. Do things Ranma is doing. How long do I have to wait? Ranma-Neko wants to have fun! No fun staying with Ranma in weird body if Ranma-Neko can't use it too."

"Why can't you use it if I let you?" Ranma asked.

"Ranma didn't even know Ranma-Neko existed as a person until now. Only now Ranma-Neko talk to you. When asleep."

Ranma has the thickest skull on the planet. He has the biggest ego in the universe. He was a proclaimed macho sexist pig. And yet, he couldn't stand to see anybody hurt. He had more morals than any normal teenage boy; perhaps more than the average adult. He was kind-hearted, and free-spirited, and had lived his entire life by the code of Bushido.

When Akane got mad and hit him for no reason at all, he always tried to apologize later even if he wasn't the offender. When Shampoo cried because of what he said, Ranma always tried to comfort her and explain what he really meant. And then, the engagement... Ranma had tried desperately to make it work, but lately Akane would react to the tiniest little thing...

So when he saw how downhearted Ranma-Neko was, his brain worked furiously to come up with a solution. He wasn't entirely convinced he was in this other person's mind, but it DID explain certain... traits of his.

"I think you could try and stay in my head while I'm awake. I don't know if it'll work, but we gotta try. Just no funny stuff, okay?"

"Thank you."

Ranma was startled. "For what?" he asked.

"For trying to help Ranma-Neko, and for listening to him."

"Hey, no problem. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wake up now. I'll think of something to fix this whole mess. And who knows, I might have a few of my OWN questions answered..."

The first thing Nabiki noticed when she got home was the lack of people. They were all in the living room, her father, Mr. Saotome, and Kasumi, watching the television. Akane and Ranma were nowhere to be found.

"Kasumi, where are the lovebirds?" Nabiki asked as she removed her shoes.

"Shh," she whispered.

Curious to what was the centre of attention, Nabiki tuned in to the set...

"...destroying about a fifth of the Mishima Heavy Industries real estate. Authorities have not confirmed if the explosion was accidental or an act of terrorism. The CEO of MHI had said earlier today that this unfortunate incident was a result of a..."

Nabiki's ears perked up at the mention of MHI. She had a huge interest in the manufacturing company, particularly the future CEO. After all, she was only the richest woman in Japan...

When the newsflash was over, the entire household came back to life as the men continued their game and Kasumi went into the kitchen to make lunch. Nabiki felt left out, so she promptly went into the kitchen to talk to Kasumi.

"What was that about?" she asked.

Kasumi looked up at Nabiki and smiled. "Welcome home, Nabiki! I'm sorry I didn't greet you earlier." She pulled out a knife and started to chop some vegetables.

"Yeah. What, oh right. Um, what exactly did they say on the TV?"

Kasumi thought for a moment. "I think they were talking about an explosion at the Mishima Heavy Industries."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "I know that," she said, "but why did everyone suddenly drop what they were doing to watch a newsflash?"

Kasumi looked innocently at her. "Well, it did seem strange that such a big explosion occurred. And the fact a dragon went flying into the sky."

"Um, where's Ranma and Akane?"

"I think Akane's in the dojo right now, but I don't know about Ranma," Kasumi replied.

"Thanks Kasumi," said Nabiki. She walked out to the practice hall, paused, and put her ear to the door. There was the sound of wood being splintered and the cries of "Ranma you jerk" emanating from within. Nabiki pulled her ear back and smiled faintly.

"Well," thought Nabiki wryly, "no doubt where Akane is, but where's Ranma?"

One thing that puzzled Nabiki was how Kasumi always managed to suggest something in her innocent little way. Just like in the kitchen...

Nabiki froze. "Hey, waitaminute here. Did she say a 'dragon' flew into the sky?" she thought. "There's one thing I know when it comes to dragons..."

Nabiki went up to her room, closed the door behind her, and walked to her desk. Reaching underneath the desk, Nabiki pulled out a cell phone.

"Ranma always has something to do with them," she finished. She checked her ledger for a certain phone number, took note of it and turned on the phone.

"If he's doing anything worth blackmailing..." Nabiki thought as she dialed the number, "I'll be one of the first to know."

"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma. You are a disgrace to the Saotome name! How can you become a true master of the martial arts if you can't stand up to a few hungry kitty cats?"

"Poppa, it hurts. Those cats, tearing at me... I don't wanna do it again! Make them go away! No..."

"Silence, boy! A true martial artist never gives up! Now, here's some fish cake. Try and learn the technique!"

"But father, I don't wanna..."

"Nonsense, boy! They hurt you as much as I do when I train you! Now make your old man happy! How do you expect to carry the mantle of the Saotome Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts without a little pain?"

"Poppa... please... not again..."

Ranma slowly regained consciousness. Without opening his eyes, he could tell his arms and legs were being restrained. He could feel himself on a table of some sort, for the coolness of the metal was prickling his back. Above him, Ranma could hear the hushed whispering of several people. Six or seven, he mused.

"Wow, so weird."

Ranma was startled for a moment before realizing it was his feline side talking. Chalk one up for the good guys, he thought. Now to find out who're the bad guys... He wondered briefly for a moment if he could direct his thoughts to Ranma-Neko without actually having to talk aloud.

"Yes."

Ranma mentally glared at him, while Ranma-Neko smiled playfully. There was something odd about him, Ranma was sure about that. It was the way you couldn't stay angry with him. Ranma had only known Ranma-Neko for a few minutes, but it seemed like they had been together for years. Dropping the matter, Ranma returned to the real world.

He sensed his restrainers were scrutinizing him, for Ranma could feel the heat of their gazes on his face. Ranma decided to remain still and listen to their conversation while Ranma-Neko dozed off.

"...Well defined, I must say."

"Why is he shackled?"

"Wouldn't you want someone like him helpless before you? Look at that body!"

A series of giggles. Ranma mentally groaned. He REALLY hoped they were joking!

"Seriously girls, an hour ago he completely wrecked one of the testing facilities." The whispering died down.

"Which one?"

"I heard it was TSI."

"What? Isn't that one..."

"Underground? Yes."

Silence.

"How exactly did he go through ten metres of concrete?"

Ranma stifled a laugh.

"I still think he's cute, though."

Murmurs of agreement. Despite being chained, Ranma couldn't help but feel his pride swell at the comment. And we all know how big an ego he has. Ranma-Neko woke up, looked at Ranma and merely shook his head.

"He's probably awake now."

Ranma gave up and opened his eyes. Several faces, all female, were peering down at him. Suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious, Ranma moved as if to cover his exposed chest until he remembered the restraints.

"I suppose I'm not here to be offered a cup of tea, am I?" he asked.

A few of the faces moved away to be replaced by another one. This one despite being very pretty had a cold calculating look, reminding Ranma of Nabiki. He fought to avoid looking at her. This face examined him for an instant before asking him a simple question.

"Who are you?"

Feeling that giving his name wouldn't hurt him a bit, he replied "Saotome Ranma."

If the woman recognized the name she didn't show it. Ranma found himself dreading that woman's voice. He kept waiting for it to lash out and bite him on the arm.

"What did you do at the facility?"

Ranma was about to snort and taste the insides of his soles when something in the back of his mind ("Ranma-Neko," he remembered later) told him to answer the question politely, with none of his usual smartass remarks. He collected his thoughts and took a deep breath.

"I landed into your 'facility' and was trying to find my way out when I was stopped by some machine. The machine told me to put my hands up in the air or it would open fire. Several more came into the room and trained their weapons on me. Another machine came in and argued with the first one, and then the first one started shooting at me. So did the others. I dodged several shots before taking a couple in the shoulder and the side. I got angry, and dismembered many of the machines. When the first one shot me with something, I got even angrier and tore it apart. Then I blew everything up. It was pretty fun, actually!" Ranma mentally punched himself. He was starting to talk like his... feline side! Ranma-Neko smirked.

The interrogator looked surprised, as if she wasn't expecting the 'prisoner' to talk, least in such a carefree manner. Once she removed her face from his sight, Ranma could hear bits and pieces of a hushed argument.

"...sure Natsume sent him..."

"...did you see the video?..."

"...human, that shoulder..."

"...at leg, you idiot..."

"...scan says..."

"...can't be, humans can't..."

Ranma listened for a while before getting bored with the entire exchange. This for him was the most opportune time to look around. Tilting his head to one side, Ranma noticed the walls were lined with state-of-the-art technology, insofar as being large and made of metal. Anything other than swords, knives and spatulas were considered top-notch to him. Trying to lift his wrist, Ranma briefly considered his options. He could break free and run like hell, but they probably anticipated that he would, and had set up more mechs in the corridor. He figured it was a good idea, but he was too weak to fight and needed some more rest. He could just lay here and wait to see what would happen next, but his fighting spirit told him this was a cowardly way to get out of here. It was then another voice interrupted his thoughts.

"How did you destroy the facility?"

Ranma felt annoyed. He had already answered that, for crying out loud! "I've already said, I blew it up," he answered sharply.

"We are not asking how it was destroyed, we are asking how YOU destroyed it."

Ranma considered the question. "Isn't that the same thing?" he asked.

There was a sigh. "Who sent you?"

Ranma thought about it. How could he explain a violent tomboy punted him into the sky and caused him to plow through ten metres of concrete? How could he explain surviving?

"Well... I can't really explain it. It's too complicated enough for me..."

"If you're not going to be cooperative, we will use force."

Ranma looked shocked for a moment. "You wouldn't dare."

"Yes, we will. In fact, we'll demonstrate if necessary."

Ranma was about to think of an answer to that when Ranma-Neko spoke for him.

"Will there be more machines to play with?" he asked. Several people in the room gasped, while the others nodded their heads in affirmation.

"What are you doing?!" Ranma thought harshly. Ranma-Neko turned to him, a big smile plastered on his face.

"No worries. Ranma-Neko knows what he's doing!"

Ranma-Neko yanked hard on the restraints. They resisted for a moment, then broke away. Rubbing his wrists, Ranma-Neko tensed and leaped from the table and onto a fixture in the ceiling. He stopped to lick his hand when the fixture pulled loose and began to fall. Ranma-Neko used the fixture as leverage to jump across the room...

...And into the arms of a giant mecha. Ranma-Neko had no time to react when it slammed him back onto the table and reapplied the restraints. The interrogator grinned.

"What you see, Saotome Ranma, is one of Mishima's latest technological breakthroughs, achieved with years of military research!"

Ranma took back control of his mind and examined the machine critically.

"So you're saying," Ranma said slowly, "that you spent years of research on a bucket of bolts?"

The interrogator merely smiled. "Kyusaku did good work, but I'm afraid our bucket of bolts here could break down your body into a bucket of spare parts."

"N-nani?!"

Well, I can't just drop the serious theme right away. The 'fic will get too choppy if that happened...

I felt 'nani' would make generate better mood than 'what.' What doesn't seem to cut it here.

Anyway, I hope I kept the blasted thing consistent. If you think so, tell me at [nshampoo .com]. Hell, tell me if you DON'T think so. I'm always open to suggestions.

Thanks again to Richard Lawson and Wade Tritschler for pre-reading this. I don't think I could continue without their support. Special thanks should also extend to anyone I forgot to mention (which is plenty).

The heat seems to be dying down in here. Good thing too, I don't think my computer can handle anymore...


	4. Chapter 4

Rating: Most audiences approved.

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted 1998 by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and anyone else who rightfully owns the copyrights. All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is copyrighted 1992 by Yuuzou Takada/Futuba Sha/King Records/Movic. This fanfic was written entirely for entertainment purposes and NOT for monetary benefit. Please don't sue me. Any similarities with other fanfics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

This is my second attempt at a decent fanfic. This also happens to be my first attempt at prose. Be lenient.

Information is based on the author's experience of the two series, meaning a truckload of Ranma 1/2 but an OAV and a few fics of Nuku Nuku. Japanese will only be used when necessary, and NOT to show that this author can look up lots of words and phrases she does not understand in a Japanese-English dictionary, or show that she can write Japanese in English when others don't have a clue what any of it means. Incidents from Ranma 1/2 are based on the manga.

Some parts of this fanfic were influenced by Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. If you haven't read any of them, shame on you.

If you've just stumbled upon this, please read the previous chapters to understand anything in this one.

There was a knock at the door, and Natsume Kyusaku looked up from his desk. Who would want to see him at this hour? It was well past midnight, and Kyusaku was hoping on getting home after he finished his business at Mishima Heavy Industries. His wife, Akiko, was expecting their first baby soon and he wanted to be at home with her right now, but she told him to finish his project before going home. It was strange to him. Kyusaku was merely a designer in one of four research and development departments, and his wife was the granddaughter of the CEO. Admittingly, Kyusaku was the most creative and intuitive person of the entire faculty, but he was a poor man with a bad business sense. Akiko was the exact opposite, born into a life of comfort and luxury. She also had the business morals of a shark, snapping up any new industrial prospects to increase the profits of MHI.

When they married, Kyusaku instantly became the lead cybernetics researcher in the company. A big jump surely, for the majority of the superiority in the corporation was female. Under the financial support of his wife, he designed, created and tested prototype after prototype after prototype. MHI benefited from Kyusaku's extraordinary progress in the field of cybernetics and technology. Project NK-583, for example, was a half-hearted attempt at video communications; MHI however, liked the concept and developed the Satellite enHanced Intercommunications Telescreen (appropriately named by Kyusaku). It was quite expensive, so the company decided to use the device only in the building. NK-686 was a breakthrough in artificial intelligence; the ability to interpret human speech patterns and carry out simple instructions said to them. MHI encouraged Kyusaku to continue with developing the technology and created many militant vehicles as well as strategic programs to be incorporated into the Japanese military computers. And finally, NK-966 was the first AI ever to be able to react to its environment and adjust to its situation; the perfect technology for satellite repairs or dangerous underground maintenance. MHI took one of Kyusaku's best achievements and altered it to become the first advanced weapons system.

Kyusaku was slightly annoyed when he found out seven out of ten of his projects were being used for military purposes, but he supposed he couldn't complain; if Akiko wanted to support his works, then she should have the right to determine the best method for using his 'toys.' At least none of them thus far had actually been used to fight wars, and if that happened...

Dropping his pen into his lab coat, Kyusaku adjusted his collar and brushed the bangs out of his eyes. He put the papers on his desk into a folder marked 'NK-1077'; he saved a similar file on his computer and shut it down. He then walked across the room and opened the door.

His guest was quite unexpected. Kyusaku smiled.

"Genma-san! It's great to see you!" he exclaimed, "it must have been what, a year since you visited an old friend!"

Genma's face was anything but cheerful as Kyusaku came to see. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes again.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Genma looked disturbed. It was quite unsettling for Kyusaku, for Genma rarely was seen this way. He was a loud and carefree man, and Kyusaku had trouble associating that with the man in front of him. It was then Kyusaku noticed the bloody boy that Genma held in his arms.

"Oy, what happened to Ranma?!" Kyusaku burst out. Genma shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"A training accident..."

A light dawned in Kyusaku's eyes. "You know, some day your recklessness will get the better of you, Genma-san! Haven't you've seen a doctor for him?"

"Yes, Ranma's been to the hospital."

"And...?"

The look in Genma's eyes told Kyusaku all he needed to know. He looked down the corridor, and seeing no one he led Genma inside. He asked him to deposit the boy on the workbench, and Kyusaku gave Ranma a cursory examination. Ranma looked FAR worse under the light of the bench. It took all of Kyusaku's willpower not to throw up.

He made a decision. "Genma, come back tomorrow. I need your son for tonight."

"But-"

"No buts! You leave school to go on a martial arts training trip, you come visit your friend only once a month, and now you're the one who comes back after a full year to want me to do something, to fix something you took away from your son! If you really want him to live, LET ME DO MY WORK!"

Genma cowered down, for Kyusaku rarely let his temper flare. He bowed an apology and quickly left the premises to his friend's wishes. After Kyusaku closed the door, he lit a cigarette and glanced back to the boy on the table. He made a smoke ring and sighed heavily.

There's nothing I can do. I'm no doctor, he thought. Genma's asking for a miracle. Cybernetics can't create miracles.

Unless...

Kyusaku gazed at the nearly dead child on the workbench, then to his computer. He turned the computer back on and opened a file related to his work on project NK-966. He scanned the file until he saw what he was looking for.

Ah.

Akiko can wait, he thought. If all goes well, I'll revolutionize cybernetic technology as we know it. She'll understand. He checked the information once more and opened a new file. Taking out an indexed folder, he thumbed through it for the notes he needed. Once he found what he was looking for, Kyusaku started to type. After twenty minutes he ran down to Research and Development and placed in a query for his new project. It'll take an hour, he thought. Just enough time to think of something else. Kyusaku was very fond of Ranma, the main reason he was willing to do this for him. It was also the main reason he was hoping to have a boy when Akiko delivered. He took the elevator upstairs, ran to his office, sat back down at his computer and started typing again.

"The stasis apparatus I'm finishing downstairs should hold him for a few weeks," he said to himself. "That gives me time to work on something for him."

An hour later, Ranma was transferred into the apparatus, and Kyusaku decided it was enough for the night. He hesitated before deciding what to name and where to put the new file. He really didn't want his wife to know about the project, for she might tell him what a waste of effort Kyusaku was putting into it. And money.

He typed in a name, and the computer saved it onto a floppy disk Kyusaku put in the drive. Taking a pen out, he labeled the disk and stored it into his jeans pocket. The label could not have been seen by any conventional means, but anyone with x-ray vision would have clearly seen the inscription on the disk.

NK-1078.

RANMA 1/2 and ALL-PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU NUKU

PROJECT NK-RANMA

Written by Celeste Byrd

CHAPTER FOUR: Pulling the Trigger

Ranma tested his new restraints. He knew he could probably break free of them, but that really big metal thing looming over him squashed down any thoughts of escape. Ranma-Neko seemed eager to take over and get them out, but Ranma felt wary of what he planned to do.

"How do I always get into these situations?" he thought.

"Shut up, Neko," he added.

The interrogator, Akiko, smirked as she watched Ranma's resigned expression. It took her company years of dedicated work to come up with something as advanced as the new BC-E88 powersuit. Years of throwing everything she had at that infuriating catgirl. Years of trying to get her son back. She'd be damned if she didn't learn anything from the experience.

"Kyusaku, this time your new android and NK-1124 will not be able to protect you. I'll destroy this abomination and then that android that hangs around my son!" she thought. "And then my Ryunosuke baby will come back to me, with Kyusaku at my feet!"

Out loud she said, "Saotome, if that's your name, I made a promise to Kyusaku a long time ago. I promised I would chase him to the gates of hell if that's what it would take to get Ryunosuke back, and you nor he will get in my way!" She dismissed her associates and waited for Ranma's response. Arisa, from within the suit, also awaited Akiko's orders. She couldn't wait to try out MHI's new line of weaponry!

"Kyusaku? Ryunosuke? Who're they?" Ranma asked. Inwardly he thought: "Ryunosuke... That rings a bell. I'm sure I remember that name somewhere..."

Akiko let her impatience show. "Look here, Saotome, give up with your stupid games and I won't break you down!"

Needless to say, Ranma was feeling a little ticked off at this point. Angrily he blurted out: "What is it with this stupid 'break me up into tiny pieces anyway?! I have no idea who this Kyusaku or Ryunosuke is, and I sure as hell don't know what you keep going on about!"

Akiko was slightly taken aback, and began to seethe. No one, absolutely NO ONE talked to her this way!

"Kyouko! Teach this insolent android some manners!"

Kyouko came out from behind Akiko and gave Ranma a disapproving glare. Arisa waited impatiently.

"You had better listen to Lady Akiko," she told Ranma, "unless you REALLY want Arisa to have her fun and destroy your body."

Ranma started to laugh. Oh sure, the cops'll really like this!

"Look," he said between chuckles, "if ya eliminate me, the police will be all over this building with search warrants and the like! I don't know much about them, but I do know killing me will bring them here!"

Kyouko tilted her head. "Really? I don't think so."

Ranma stopped laughing. "Huh?" he asked.

Kyouko smiled. "The police won't come for a robot, you know."

"OKAY, WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT?!" he yelled.

"But it's true," she continued, "why don't you look at that poor leg of yours, hmm?"

Ranma stared at Kyouko's face. When you survive three long years of attacks thrown by three violent fiancees, three heated rivals, several lunatics, one cowardly yet persistent parent, a panty thief, a wise yet dangerous old woman, the invincible martial artist of the week and on one occasion a giant lobster with shears, you learn a lot by facial and body expressions. Kyouko had no trace of malice on her face, no telltale quirk that told of some little private joke she was sharing with herself. None at all...

He decided to shut up for once and take the information at face value. He slowly looked down at his injured leg, afraid of what he'd see. It was normal looking, except for the burn marks and the long gash in the side. The blood had clotted, so that was a good sign.

If it weren't for the wires jutting out of the wound and the traces of metal here and there, Ranma would have thought nothing of it. As it were, he was shocked beyond belief.

"Okay, okay. At the age of ten I get trained in some stupid form of martial art that leaves me scarred for life. I lose one of my only friends because of a stupid duel he couldn't get to. I go to China with Pop even though the stupid moron doesn't speak a word of Chinese. We go to the stupid training grounds of Jhusenkyou where I get cursed to turn into a stupid girl. I get into a stupid fight with Chinese amazons and get the Kiss of Death, and get chased out of the stupid province. Pops and I come back to Japan where I learn he arranged a stupid marriage. Not to one girl, but to at least seventeen of 'em. I have stupid rivals I don't want because of having multiple fiancees. I get nearly killed almost everyday because of the stupid life I lead. I find out I've had an alternate personality for eight stupid years. And to top it all off, I've got stupid metal things jutting out my stupid leg. Stupid!"

Ranma-Neko instantly took over before Ranma could scream his head off. He would have found out sooner or later, R-Neko thought. It's just as well these funny people decided to tell him instead.

Ranma-Neko looked back up and met the gaze of Kyouko. He couldn't talk, for Ranma's mind had to be stable in order for speech to occur. After all, he was just a cat. And there was only one thing he could do.

He stuck his tongue out at Kyouko, making one of the silliest faces ever. At least he could get back at them THIS way! Slightly peeved, Kyouko dropped her mannerisms and stuck her thumbs in her ears and blew a raspberry. It then became one big contest, to see who could make the stupidest expression at the other. This happened for a few minutes with Akiko and Arisa giving them strange looks. It wasn't long before Akiko had enough.

"STOP IT!" she yelled. The volume of her voice threw Kyouko back, and Ranma-Neko hissed. "Kyouko! Shouldn't you be acting more your age?! I can understand this Saotome acting like a spoiled brat, but I expected more of you!"

"Hey, that wasn't very nice!" Ranma-Neko objected. Akiko whirled on him and poked him in the chest.

"It was bad enough Kyusaku built a superweapon shaped like some teenaged girl in his sick fantasies. Now he builds one to become my Ryunosuke's 'older' brother? He has no idea the bad influences that could come from this!"

Ranma may not have been very bright, but he did understand certain key points to the conversation. There were more of him. This Kyusaku built him and made him think he was human. He did damn good work.

I can live with that, Ranma thought. I'm cursed to turn into a girl, I have multiple fiancees, all who are incredibly violent towards me, and I have millions of guys who want to kill me. Being a robot sounds like a picnic.

"Do you always assume things created by this Kyusaku are bad?! What's it to you, anyway?!" Ranma asked out loud. Kyouko backed away hurriedly, knowing what was to come. Akiko walked up to Ranma until she was just centimetres from his face.

"Kyusaku was my husband! It's bad enough that he ran away a few years ago taking his projects with him, but to take my son away to expose him to the dangers of the outside world?! He's such an irresponsible father!"

"Hey, from the way you talk about this guy, I'd say he's doing a fine job of raising the kid!"

"WHAT?! Kyusaku leaves Ryunosuke under the care of that... robot most of the time!"

"Lot better than turning the kid into a bubblehead!"

"Why you... under my care, Ryunosuke will become well-educated with private tutors and have servants at his beck and call!"

"Turning him into a lazy freak!"

"Don't you dare talk about my son that way!"

Kyusaku put out his cigarette and checked his watch. Nuku Nuku had left two minutes ago, so that meant... well, it meant she'd be back any second now.

Five...

Nabiki put down the phone and grinned viciously. She smelled a nice situation to take advantage of, and she planned on milking it to the extreme. She calmly wrote down a few things in her notebook and hid the phone back under the desk. Consulting her previous notes, Nabiki walked to her window and opened it. She saw Akane toweling off and felt it was a good time as any to start. She'd call the Nekohanten and Ucchan's after.

"Akane?" she called.

Akane looked up to see Nabiki beckoning from her window. "Hi Nabiki, what do you want?" she asked, finished with wiping the sweat off her face. Nabiki smiled her usual predatory one.

"There's some information that might interest you..."

Four...

Kyouko nervously watched the verbal battle from a safe distance. She was very fascinated. The boy seemed to be shooting down any of Lady Akiko's reasons to take back her son. She had thought Akiko and Kyusaku were unique in their own ways, but this boy seemed to be a combination of the two! She was also shocked that she was secretly hoping the boy would win. If he were to win this confrontation, it meant no more injuries to Arisa and no more millions of dollars wasted in a fruitless pursuit.

That also meant no more work for Kyouko, so she instantly sided with the CEO-to-be.

"...That's it," Akiko said with her dangerous calm, "I wasted enough time arguing with a simple machine. It's time for me to make you feel the power of Mishima Heavy Industries..." She brought her face back and pointed a finger at Ranma. "And to eliminate you with BC-E88!"

"Oh, we think we're so smart and smug just because we have a big robot that can blow seventeen kinds of shit out of me, huh? Well, I happen to be a martial artist and I can make you kiss that high-tech bucket goodbye," Ranma thought. "How, I don't know."

Ranma-Neko's thoughts however, were not as elaborate. The feline mind does not normally deal with introspection and forethought, being a creature of impulse. Ranma-Neko was not normal, so the laws of feline thought did not apply here. In fact, R-Neko's thoughts could be considered the biggest leap for the evolution of cats and they went like this: Must get out and play with such a big dangerous toy!

Somewhere along the path between the brain and the mouth, the two thoughts between the personalities clashed together and became two words: "Uh oh."

Akiko smiled and turned to her two subordinates. "I trust the elimination of this new android is in proper hands."

"Yes, ma'am!" Kyouko saluted. When Akiko left, Kyouko sighed and listlessly dropped her hands to her sides. She had a sneaking suspicion was to happen next.

"Arisa, let's get this over with, okay?" she asked warily. Arisa glared from within her suit.

"No way! I want to have some fun first!"

Kyouko sighed once again, a drop of sweat slowly working its way down the side of her face. "You just blew up millions of dollars worth of Mishima technology an hour ago!" she exclaimed tiredly.

"Kyouko, you know how stressed out I get in the office. Besides, this is to continue where I left off!"

By mutual agreement, Ranma-Neko took over while the two office ladies were bickering and twisted his arms around to lift the table from out under him. He flipped over, tearing his leg restraints and landed awkwardly on one foot, still carrying the table. The two looked back to see Ranma and his amazing display of balance. Kyouko stepped back as the BC-E88 opened fire.

"I won't let you..."

Ranma-Neko nimbly dodged the blasts and upended the table on the powersuit's head. The table splintered, but the suit seemed undamaged. Ranma-Neko jumped behind the machine and grabbed some of the paneling, tearing it off. He made a fist and punched the console, causing it to explode violently.

"...touch me!"

Ranma-Neko started ripping cables and wiring out of the damaged mech. The powersuit shut down. Ranma-Neko then lifted the BC-E88 over his head and, straining from the weight, he drove the mech into the wall repeatedly.

Three...

"ARISA!" Kyouko yelled.

Within the suit, Arisa grimaced from the force of the impacts. No one, not even the android, could damage Mishima's new muscle! She smiled, for after a few years of fighting NK-1124, she suggested a back-up power system in future battle suit designs. That way if the android managed to disable the suit, she... it would think the job was done and be at a disadvantage. And people like Arisa knew where to insert the dagger.

She turned on auxiliary and waited for the system to come back online. Seconds later she picked up a surprised Ranma-Neko by the waist and started applying intense amounts of pressure.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! No one dares look down the power of Mishima Heavy Industries!" she grinned. "Now let's see how you can handle the force of two thousand tons of pressure, android!"

Ranma-Neko clenched his teeth as Arisa tightened her grip on him. The tightness of the clamp seemed to be getting to him though, for he could feel his ribs starting to buckle. His vision also started to blur profusely.

"Jeez, she's stronger than Ryouga!" Ranma mentally shouted as Ranma-Neko closed his eyes. "Don't give up yet! You've barely used this body for more than a coupla' minutes! You've got to get outta this psycho's grip! C'mon!"

"Crush!" Arisa said through clenched teeth.

"Why you..." This growl was directed at the BC-E88. Ranma-Neko pulled back his fists and was about to punch hard when one of the walls exploded inwards. Kyouko gasped.

"NK-1124!" she yelled.

"Nuku Nuku won't let you hurt him!" Nuku Nuku shouted. She immediately went into battle mode, sensors looking very much like cat ears shifting into position.

The following happened in the time span of six seconds, and can only be explained sequentially. First off, there was that bit where Nuku Nuku crushed the arm holding Ranma-Neko, dropping him to the ground. The second involved extreme amounts of force exerted by Nuku Nuku lifting the BC-E88 and launching it out the same wall she came in. The force exerted was enough for the mech to cause an even bigger hole in the Mishima building, and also effectively causing it to land a good six or seven kilometres away. Oh yeah, and the third revolved around Nuku Nuku picking up the semi-conscious body of Ranma-Neko and running out. As Kyouko put down her arms, she noticed a Ranma-shaped hole in the scenery. Not literally, but figuratively. Either way, Kyouko knew she was in for one hell of a day.

Akiko, who had been watching the fight from the safety of her office, forced down the urge to scream. Once again Kyusaku foiled her plans! She sighed instead and summoned Kyouko.

"Take POISON FOUR and head to my husband's place! Try and re-capture the escapee!"

Two...

It was Kyouko's turn to sigh. Being the more levelheaded of Akiko's two servants, Kyouko felt it a waste of good technology to send it after the NK-1124. Arisa, the other one, was more than glad to try it and blow everything up within a five kilometre RADIUS. If so happened that the NK-1124 was in the way, even better. Kyouko was about to point out those facts when she noticed the look Akiko was giving her. Any thoughts of rebuke were squashed down, for years of experience told Kyouko never to question her superior's motives.

"Yes, Lady Akiko."

Special thanks again to Richard Lawson, who gave me the information on Nuku Nuku needed to start this fic and for prereading a few chapters. Salutations also should be sent to Wade Tritschler for proofing my works, and to Jim Robert Bader (a.k.a. Shadowmane) for also majorly voicing his support on my series.

Coming up next: Ranma gets his questions answered, but not all of them are quite to his liking.


	5. Chapter 5

Rating: Most audiences approved. Contains some technical babble.

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted 1998 by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and anyone else who rightfully owns the copyrights. All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is copyrighted 1992 by Yuuzou Takada/Futuba Sha/King Records/Movic. This fanfic was written entirely for entertainment purposes and NOT for monetary benefit. Please don't sue me. Any similarities with other fanfics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

This is my second attempt at a decent fanfic. This also happens to be my first attempt at prose. Be lenient.

Information is based on the author's experience of the two series, meaning a truckload of Ranma 1/2 but two OAVs and a few fics of Nuku Nuku. Japanese will only be used when necessary, and NOT to show that this author can speak English with Japanese phrases. Incidents from Ranma 1/2 are based on the manga and incidents from Nuku Nuku are based on Phases 0I, 0II, 0V, and 0VI.

Cybernetic information and theories were partially influenced by the manga version of Masamune Shirow's Ghost in the Shell. The rest came to me in a dream. You'd be surprised as to the amount of junk that comes to me when I sleep.

Some parts of this fanfic were influenced by Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. If you haven't read any of them, shame on you.

If you've just stumbled upon this, please read the previous chapters to understand anything in this one.

Natsume Kyusaku clenched his teeth as he drove home. It was Christmas Eve, ten months after Genma dropped by at his office with a nearly dead Ranma in his arms. Ten months ago he had seen it as his duty to give the helpless boy a second chance. He was torn however, between working on NK-1078 and seeing his new baby boy. Ryunosuke was barely a few months old, and Kyusaku felt he must act like the responsible father he should be. Strangely enough, Akiko actually encouraged his workaholic activities and didn't mind when he often came home late. She assumed he was working on something very important for Mishima Heavy Industries, and could tolerate almost anything if a profit could be made.

Kyusaku WAS working on a very important project, but not in the way Akiko was thinking.

In the span of six months, Kyusaku studied reports and documents on the human brain and the connection between the frequencies of human brainwaves and the characteristics of movement; with this knowledge he managed to create and build a working "Neural Signal Interface." It analyzed the frequencies in a brainwave and electro-chemical reactions in the neurons; it then sent messages to what Kyusaku called a Central Neural Co-Processor for interpretation; the message was then compiled and executed. Interpreted brainwaves for complex movements (such as walking or flexing) were sent to the Secondary Neural Co-Processor for further interpretation. Basically, instructions from the brain stem and cerebellum were converted into machine-readable code the NSI could understand and carry out.

Kyusaku had then replaced the most damaged areas of Ranma's mangled body; the arms, legs, and skull. Almost everything. He built the artificial parts necessary and attached them to the NSI with fibre-optic wires. Using the most advanced techniques, he succeeded in removing the brain and spinal cord, and encased them in a special container for linkage with the NSI. He'd also removed serious cuts and bruises by growing a tissue culture and applying the skin cells to the affected areas. While Ranma's mind was whittling the months away in a mind simulation Kyusaku created, he linked the brain with the NSI and ran some diagnostics. After a few weeks of testing, Kyusaku could finally declare the project a success. He had created the first ever cyborg. Kyusaku could receive plenty of patents on his work, but due to the nature of the project, he would have to keep it secret for at least several decades. Only he and Genma would know what Ranma was really like.

That was when Ranma's brain started to deteriorate.

Catching the disaster in time, Kyusaku managed to recover Ranma's mind in a "memory box." It was a simple process of transferring the electronic impulses and information stored in the neurons and glial cells of the child's brain into an indexed storage unit. The problem was, though experiences and thought patterns would be transferred completely, things like speech patterns, analytical habits, etc. would be lost. It would reflect on his later years, certainly. The brain itself Kyusaku placed into a redesigned stasis unit. It was damaged beyond use, but he felt it could be used for later study.

Now Kyusaku had to find a way to emulate the Central Neural Processor (Kyusaku's fancy word for brain) without warping any part of Ranma's memory. He knew there was absolutely no way he'd be able to create an artificial brain that could work like a human one. Such powers he felt belonged to the gods; after all, modern science could still not define all the characteristics of the alleged gray matter.

But Kyusaku was not a quitter, and his thoughts the next day proved it: although he could not perfect an artificial brain, he could try and come very damn close to the real thing. All he needed was more time, and more research.

Two sleepless and grueling months later from extensive study of Ranma's brain, Kyusaku came up with enough information to create devices similar in function to the brain stem and the cerebellum. After several project number updates from redesigning and reconstruction, the devices were installed into the NSI-R3 (Revision 3). Project NKI-1078 was almost completed.

Now came the tough part. He'd covered those parts of the nervous system which handled the purely mechanical functions: heart rate, digestion, motor activity... breathing... those were the parts that he, as a scientist/engineer, felt most capable of handling. Kyusaku's lips quirked at the memory of just how WELL he'd handled them. Things like the pituitary and pineal glands he simply could emulate; all he needed to do was to set Ranma's internal structure on an electronic timer to control the ultradian and circadian cycles of the biological clock. He also needed Ranma to visit him at least once a month for updates and maintenance checks. But that still left out the most generous portion of the brain's function. How was Kyusaku, or anyone, going to program a computer to feel?

The most complex part of the brain was undoubtedly the learning and reasoning centres: the cerebrum. To complicate the problem further, the cerebrum was the governor of memory and sensory perception. For this he needed a really serious miracle. Defining it was hard enough, but to attempt to recreate it, to duplicate it mechanically...

Well, Kyusaku did make a preliminary sketch of what it would take for just rudimentary service. Problem was, he highly doubted Ranma would want to carry six hundred kilos of computer equipment on his head. More advanced service, for say a normal human, would require several inconveniently large buildings.

The technical details of how to work it began to rise up in Kyusaku's mind, but with uncharacteristic vehemence he shut them out as he made a turn down through city streets. Not with Ranma! The boy was going to lead a fairly normal life! As normal as Kyusaku could make it! Anything else would be a failure!

In an alley not far down the street, three adolescent boys were chasing a stray cat. It was a mother, and was racing away hurriedly with one of her kittens held firmly in her jaws. Kyusaku at first didn't see them, being lost in the world of technical diagrams, electron flow rates, delta waves, and optical physics. It was when he saw the three young boys running out onto the street that he grabbed the wheel screaming and began swerving and braking. The tires of the land rover shrieked as they sought purchase on the asphalt.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

There was silence. The engine of the land rover stopped and started to cool. The three boys stood in a huddled group, suddenly afraid. No longer thinking of chasing anything, the guilty party disappeared. Why they were out so late at night, Kyusaku would never know. He then got out of his vehicle. There had been a slight impact when he stopped, he was sure of it. But if it wasn't one of the boys who was hurt...

He got out and kneeled down to look under the vehicle. There was the mother cat, crouched in concern over the mortal remains of her offspring. The kitten's body was partially crushed under the weight of the tire, its hindlegs no longer active with the rest of it. She licked her child once, then fled from the presence of the looming human.

Disheartenedly, Kyusaku climbed back into the land rover, switched into reverse and backed it up a few centimetres, then went to scoop the fallen body from under the tire. The kitten was still breathing, but it wouldn't be long before it took its last breath. He felt as crushed as the body he was holding, having been thinking so hard about saving one life that he had been careless and took another's. Soon the poor thing would be no more, and somehow it seemed as if his plans to save Ranma were going in the same direction.

Kyusaku cradled the dying kitten in his arms. Even something so simple as this could think and reason better than any machine that he could ever build. Memeory, perhaps. The senses, certainly. Reason? Emotions?

There was one more thing he couldn't program into any machine...

The need to survive. Even as the kitten looked up pitifully at Kyusaku and mewed, he saw it in its eyes. It wanted to live.

Kyusaku sighed. Leave it to Fate to send him back to square one.

If he couldn't even save the life of a little kitten, how could he ever hope to save the life of Genma's son? The kitten's body was destroyed, and Ranma's neural matter was unrecoverable. Two situations, no answer in sight. It wasn't as if their parts were interchangeable...

The cigarette fell from his mouth, forgotten. He looked up as the first snowflakes of the year started to fall. Their patterns were mesmerizing, and Kyusaku couldn't help but watch for a few moments.

Kyusaku bundled the cat carefully and quickly dropped it onto the passenger seat before he even finished his sentimental thought. Ripping streaks of rubber into the road, he jumped the divider and began racing back to the lab, flipping a switch on a little device that would tell the lights between here and there to turn green when he needed them.

He knew with analytical certainty just how long a brain would survive without oxygen. There was still time, and he was determined to use it.

Kyusaku had a plan. Everything else could wait.

RANMA 1/2 and ALL-PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU NUKU

PROJECT NK-RANMA

Written by Celeste Byrd

CHAPTER FIVE: New Found Origin

"-aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!"

One.

The appartment door slammed and Kyusaku checked his watch. He then walked out of his workroom and stared down at the boy on the couch. The boy had the strangest expression on his face, as if he'd been offered an all-expenses paid trip across three hundred twenty-eight different dimensions and one hundred ninety-six different astral planes. And took it.

"Nuku Nuku, did you use Ryu's new bicycle?" he asked. Nuku Nuku, standing to one side, nodded her head. Kyusaku sighed, and calculated the time and distance between the appartment and the Mishima building.

"Thirty-five kilometres in twenty seconds flat!" he said. "Now once he catches up to us I'm sure he'll be glad you saved him..."

The sarcasm was lost in Nuku Nuku, who simply giggled and decided to play with the boy's face as if it were silly putty. Kyusaku lit another cigarette and watched for a moment as the boy was lifted off the couch. It was quite comical to see the boy's face being contorted into VERY strange shapes.

"You should stop doing that to the poor kid's face, Nuku Nuku! He's not Eimi, you know."

It was then the disheveled figure groaned. A startled Nuku Nuku accidentally let go, and the boy immediately fell onto the floor face-first. He staggered uncertainly to his feet, looked around the appartment with unfocussed eyes, rubbed the new bump on his face and mumbled something rather incoherently. At least to Kyusaku.

"What's a tomboy, Papa-san?" Nuku Nuku asked.

"He's still a little disoriented," Kyusaku explained. "After travelling at..." He calculated. "...Six thousand three hundred kilometres an hour, he's entitled to feel a little sick. Don't give him a nasty shock."

"Why, Papa-san?"

Kyusaku considered. "Well Nuku Nuku, I'm sure you wouldn't be happy if someone woke you up from a really nice nap."

"But if it was Papa-san or Ryunosuke or Mama-san needing help or Eimi-chan or Arisa wanting to play or Yoshimi-chan..."

"Okay okay, Nuku Nuku. Humans just don't like it, okay?"

"Yes, Papa-san."

The boy's gaze latched onto the bathroom door as if it were the only solid thing in a spinning universe, and lurched towards it as if driven by a puppeteer from above. Kyusaku watched uncertainly as the door closed, hoping there wasn't some sort of malfunction beyond the effects of the wild ride. The water tap could be heard running and a voice suddenly screamed out as the owner woke up. Kyusaku stuck a finger in his ear. Did that voice all of a sudden sound rather like Nuku Nuku? He was very certain that under normal circumstances male vocal cords did not go two octaves higher and reflect the exact same tone as his daughter. Then, it stopped as suddenly as it started, and Kyusaku couldn't dwell on it any further.

"Must have been my imagination," he thought.

The door opened again as the young man, sopping wet, walked out. Ranma blinked at the Natsumes, as if he was just merely operating on conditioned reflex earlier. He took one look around the room and started swaying gently on his heels.

"Err... how did I get here?" Ranma ventured.

"Um. Nuku Nuku brought you here," said Kyusaku, "and under twenty seconds too."

Ranma blinked again. "Err... is that why am I feeling a little sick?"

"Feel free to use the toilet. Just don't get any on the floor."

"Err... where the heck am I?"

"The Natsume residence."

Recognition dawned on Ranma's face as he took a better look at Kyusaku.

"Doctor Natsume," he greeted weakly before falling forward, "I'm back from China."

It was certainly a beautiful day. Soun had laid the shoji board on the lacquered dojo floor, near the gardens, and together both he and Genma-panda were engrossed in their seventh game of the day. On a day like this, both men watched the board in rapt attention, stopping only to drink their sake, watch the butterflies fluttering around the flowers, or notice the other man's distraction and place a few extra tiles on the board. Both found the game very relaxing. It gave them time to reflect on past events, time to clear the mind of the daily ordeals (and Akane's habitual scream of the day), and time to watch each other to make sure they weren't cheating, but for one moment if the other turned around...

"Saotome," Soun said, breaking the silence. "It is a fine day, is it not?"

Genma-panda held up a sign. "[Agreed Tendou,]" it answered. "[I believe tomorrow is also going to be even better.]"

"Ah yes, and I felt yesterday was just as good."

"[Tuesday should be particularly fine.]"

"Yes."

"[Yes.]"

They stared at the board. Kasumi came out and refilled their glasses. The birds chirped.

"Akane has certainly been more and more irate lately, hasn't she?"

"[Don't worry about it, Tendou. She's just growing up.]"

"But the amount of damage she's been causing to the training hall because of your son..."

"[I said not to worry about it! They both prideful children who won't admit to their true feelings. They'll crack soon.]"

"I hope you're right."

"[Indeed, Tendou.]"

"Yes."

"[Yes.]"

They stared at the board, and gulped down their drinks. When you have two grown men with nothing to do but play shoji for seven days of the week, don't expect them to have interesting conversations or social structures. The shoji board itself radiated more intelligence and benevolent experience than these two blundering idiots did.

"I wonder where young Ranma is right now. He's been gone for a few hours."

"[Don't worry about him. He's probably on his way home right now.]"

There was a pause.

"How can you be so sure, Saotome? What if he's seeking attention from his other fiancées?"

"[No problem. That ingrate son of mine has his honour, and he knows he has to marry Akane or his honour is lost.]"

"I hope you're right."

"[Indeed.]"

"Yes."

"[Yes.]"

"Would you two STOP IT?!"

Both men turned to look at Soun's youngest and most violent daughter, who happened to be holding a table to Genma-panda's head.

"Why would I want to marry a perverted, macho, sexist pig?!" Akane asked hotly.

"Oh, my daughter yelled at me!" Soun immediately began to sob.

"Cool it Akane," Nabiki said from behind her. "You know how emotional dad gets. And besides, your target is Ranma, isn't it? Shouldn't you be focusing your anger on him?"

Akane whirled on her sister. "Would YOU stop it?! I'm not jealous!"

"I didn't say you were. I just said your target is Ranma."

"I-" Akane glared. "But you made it sound like he was with another girl! And if he IS, I'll pound him flat. This is all his fault!"

"Like I said, cool it before I charge double for Ranma's whereabouts."

"Oh, my youngest daughter is concerned for her fiancé! No matter what the price, she'll find him and bring him home!"

"[Brings a tear to my eye.]"

"Honestly, I can't understand you two!" Akane yelled before dropping the table. She walked off, Nabiki trailing behind.

"Hey wait sis," Genma-panda heard Nabiki say, "I gotta call a few people first..."

Soun immediately calmed down, the shed tears leaking through the cracks in the wood and nourishing the flowers underneath. He turned back to Genma.

"Do you think they'll find him?" he asked. Genma held up another sign.

"[With Nabiki arranging things? I'm sure it'll happen. Anything could happen today.]"

"It seems today won't be so good after all."

"[Indeed, Tendou.]"

"Yes."

"[Yes.]"

Cologne stepped out of her hiding spot in the shadows and hopped away, oblivious to the two grownups.

"They're both morons," she muttered.

Ranma was still asleep. At least, in the literal sense of the word, he was currently unconscious in the materialistic plane of the third dimension. His mind, somewhere in the seven hundred and sixty-sixth, was quite alert. And talking with itself.

"Neko, would you quit it already?!"

"But Ranma-Neko wants to go out!"

Ranma groaned as he watched his feline counterpart bounce around the abyss he would under normal circumstances call his head.

"Lay it off and let me sleep in pain, will you?" he groused. "I think I've had to wake up four or five times already today. No one will miss me if I decide to sleep the day off."

"Ranma can sleep the day off, but Ranma-Neko wants to get used to his new body!"

"Geez, why don't you just go then?" he asked.

"Ranma has to let me out," R-Neko answered, "I can't just go whenever I want."

"..."

Ranma thought about it. Oh yes, he thought sarcastically, we can all see the logic in NOT letting him out. Oh yes, keep yourself locked in for eight years and see what YOU want to do.

"Shut up," he said.

"What?" asked R-Neko.

"I wasn't talking to you."

Ranma-Neko shrugged. "Oh."

Ranma thought about it some more. What could he do?

"Alright, alright! FINE! Have it your way! Just don't do anything I'll regret later, okay?"

"Like?"

"Um... anything I wouldn't normally do, I guess." The safe route.

"Okay, Ranma!"

"And wake me up if it's important or if there's something to eat, okay?"

"Mmm!"

At the Nekohanten...

"Nihao, and wel... great-grandmother! Come back from shopping so soon?"

"Yes, my child. By the way, has Tendou Nabiki come in here earlier?"

"Yes, great-grandmother. She come in with Violent Tomboy and ask if Shampoo want information about Ranma."

"Did you accept?"

"No, great-grandmother. Shampoo no stupid to ask Mercenary for information. She charge too much."

"That's good child. Get Mousse to clean up the place while you get ready."

"Why, great-grandmother?"

"We're going to find your husband."

"But Ranma is at dojo, right?"

"No child. That is why we have to go now, to find him. Before Akane tears him to shreds."

...at Ucchan's...

"Hello, Nabiki!"

"Hi. I'm here to give you some information regarding Ranma's apparent absence..."

"Um, how long has he been gone?"

"About four hours."

"Er, am I supposed to be paying for information that's totally meaningless to me because Ranchan might have gone shopping with some friends?"

"Ranma has friends?"

"That wasn't very nice, of course he has friends!"

"Right. Anyway, this tidbit's a freebie. He couldn't have gone shopping because a) he doesn't like to shop, b) he would have skipped his Sunday training, and c) Akane punted him out the window this morning."

"Ouch! Poor Ranchan... alright, how much will it cost me?"

"Not much. Only a thousand yen."

"Well... okay. I take it Akane and Shampoo are tagging along?"

"No, only Akane."

"I better go. Ranchan might be hurt! Hey waitasec, why are YOU going too?"

"I need to make sure my prospective brother-in-law doesn't get too badly hurt when Akane is finished with him. He still needs to pay off his debt."

"And how exactly do you plan on stopping Mallet Girl?"

"That's for me to know."

"Okay then. Let me get my spatulas."

...In Kyoto...

"Excuse me, but is this the way to Tokyo?"

"No, it's that way."

"Thank you."

"Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?! It's THAT way!"

"This way?"

"No no! THAT way!"

"Oh, THIS way!"

"NO NO NO NO NO!"

"No no no no no?"

"Oh forget it. It's that way."

"Okay. This way?"

"RIGHT! RIGHT! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?"

...And at the Natsume appartment...

"He's coming to."

"He's coming to where, Papa-san?"

"It's just an expression, Nuku Nuku! It means he's waking up."

The first thing Ranma-Neko noticed when he stirred was the smell of a cat. He instantly sobered up and threw open the covers. The second thing R-Neko noticed was a pair of large, cute emerald-green eyes staring at him with an expression of concern. The third thing he noticed was that these eyes were set upon a remarkably attractive face surrounded by a crown of reddish pink hair. The FOURTH thing was something he knew Ranma would hit him for, and so he immediately forgot about it.

"Is Saotome-san okay?" Nuku Nuku asked.

For some reason Ranma-Neko couldn't reply. He kept opening and closing his mouth, and yet no sound seemed to be coming out. The way she was looking at him also must have contributed to his speechlessness. He nudged Ranma awake.

"Ranma, there's something wrong," he thought.

"Wha-? Already?"

"Yes, something's wrong with Ranma's voice. Ranma-Neko can't use it."

"Oh, okay. Let me try."

Ranma soon took over and looked directly into the eyes of Nuku Nuku. Unlike R-Neko, he was used to looking at a pretty girl. However, it didn't help his voice any. Besides, usually the girl was hitting him, or glomping on to him, so his perspective was quite different this time.

"Y-yes, I'm fine," he finally managed to stammer.

"Hey Ranma, you feeling okay?" Kyusaku asked from behind Nuku Nuku. Ranma nodded. He found it a lot easier to concentrate when his attention was focused elsewhere. Strangely enough, it wasn't just her appearance that was making Ranma unbalanced. It was the reflection in her eyes...

"How's it going? You haven't dropped by for at least four years! How's your pop? Is he still in China? How is your training? Everything okay?" Ranma was startled by Kyusaku's bombardment of questions and quickly waved it off.

"I'm okay Doctor Natsume," he said, "Can I answer your questions later? I'm kinda tired."

"Sure! Anyway, this is my daughter Atsuko."

"Atsuko?"

"Well, we usually call her Nuku Nuku."

Nuku Nuku smiled. "Hi Saotome-san!"

"Er, hi."

Kyusaku gestured for Ranma to follow him into the kitchen, away from Nuku Nuku. When she was out of earshot, he nudged Ranma.

"How do you like my daughter?"

Ranma stepped back out of range. "What?!"

Kyusaku smirked at Ranma's rather guilty expression. "I didn't mean it THAT way! I meant if you like my newest android design!" Ranma sighed with relief. Kyusaku continued. "After all, you DID know I didn't have a daughter before you left for China, right?"

"Oh, right," he answered weakly.

"And you do admit my design on her is flawless!"

Ranma looked confused. "Um, sure."

"And that you envy my newest technological breakthrough!"

He now looked hopelessly lost in the conversation. "..." he said.

"And that you'd like to be upgraded to the same model type!"

Ranma tried to get a grip. "Er, before we get any farther Doctor, how many hours have you slept this week?"

"None at all!"

THAT explained it, he thought. When Dr. Natsume had something he wanted to do, he didn't sleep until it was done. At times like this it was best to patiently wait for him to blab the whole thing.

Of course, Ranma was never all that patient, so he said "would you mind explaining to me what you're talking about?"

Kyusaku scratched his head, then laughed. "Oh yeah, you weren't supposed to know that!"

"Know what-?"

"Genma specifically told me not to tell you about it!"

Ranma grabbed Kyusaku by the shirt. "What did pop tell you not to tell me?"

"You're an android!"

"Hey, waitasecond..." Ranma let go, and put two and two together. "Is your personal name Kyusaku?"

"Yes, didn't you know that? I'm sure I've told you before."

"No! This weirdo at Mishima something or other kept ranting on how I was a machine built by you and how she was going to tear me apart to get her son back. At least, that's what I think she wanted to do."

Kyusaku now looked solemn and sat down at the kitchen table. "Akiko."

"What?" Ranma asked, following suit.

"My wife. She's the granddaughter of the CEO. She always does things like this."

"Oh, really?"

"Her sense of business sometimes gets the better of her. When I mean 'business', I mean 'Is it a moneymaking venture? Buy it if you can. Is it an obstacle between me and my son? Send in the troops and take no prisoners.' That sort of thing. Let me fill you in on the last four years..."

Despite how much Ranma found this interesting, he really needed to rest. He asked Ranma-Neko to retell whatever Kyusaku said to him later, and he readily agreed. Ranma once again went into dreamland.

"It's all pop's fault. It's always his fault..." Ranma murmured before departing. Ranma-Neko saluted him, then tuned in to reality.

"...And here you are," Kyusaku finished.

Ranma-Neko was at a loss on what to do next. Ranma had told him to not do anything he wouldn't want to do. Wait, maybe a question would be in order!

"So, I'm really a machine, huh?" he asked. After all, he thought, Ranma would appreciate me asking them for him.

"Well, more of a cyborg. You're part human, part android. You see..."

Nuku Nuku watched from outside the kitchen as Papa-san talked to that boy she rescued from Mishima Heavy Industries. She didn't know why he wanted her to do that, but she rarely knew why Papa-san wanted to do anything.

Nuku Nuku turned her attention onto the boy. She didn't know why she decided to stretch his face back there, but it was fun!

There was something odd about Ranma, she knew. It may have been his choice of clothing, for Chinese outfits were usually only seen in circuses. It may have been his hair, for no one nowadays kept their hair so long and tied it in a pigtail. It may have even been his stance, for it had an unusual poised grace, indicating a seasoned acrobat or fighter.

It may have been all those things, but the one thing that stood out most in Nuku Nuku's mind was his scent. It reminded her of a cat. The whole situation was rather weird to her. In the kitchen was a total stranger and Nuku Nuku already found herself attracted to him!

"My lady, we are approaching Kyusaku's apartment."

"Good. Demand he releases the escaped android, and rough him up a bit if he doesn't. Warning shots only."

"Aww..."

"Yes, Lady Akiko."

"...and then you left for China."

"I'm sorry, Doctor Natsume..."

"Just call me Natsume-san."

"Okay Natsume-san. Pops usually springs stuff like that onto me."

"I know, Ranma. He always does. By the way, I need to run some diagnostics on you and get that leg fixed. Is it okay if you stay the night? Besides, it'd keep my wife out of your hair for a day."

Ranma-Neko shrugged. Not only would Psycho Lady be at bay, he knew Ranma wanted to stay away from Akane for a few hours as well. Who wouldn't? What was a day going to do?

"Okay," he answered simply.

Kyusaku clapped his hands together. "Good!" he said. "I'd really like to hear of your adventures in China, but right now I have to work on a very important project."

R-Neko shrugged again. "Okay."

"Oh, and one more thing." Kyusaku leaned over the table to whisper something into Ranma-Neko's ear. "Be nice to my daughter, okay? Try and be a feminist."

A drop of sweat rolled down the side of Ranma-Neko's head. "Er, yes sir."

Nuku Nuku noticed Papa-san get up and leave the kitchen. Now was her chance! Maybe she could try and figure out why she felt this way for the boy...

Ranma-Neko nodded. "Yes, Natsume-san." Inwardly, he wondered how he should go about it. Despite the fact he found Nuku Nuku attractive, Ranma's words continued to echo in his mind.

"'Just don't do anything I'll regret later... anything I wouldn't normally do.'"

"Anything he wouldn't normally do?" Ranma-Neko pondered. He shrugged. He hadn't been out much, and Ranma's memory seemed vague under the subject of 'normal'.

It was when Nuku Nuku in her cheery demeanor decided to walk in. Ranma-Neko once again found himself captivated by her presence. Nuku Nuku seemed the same. They both looked at each other, at a loss for words. It was then Nuku Nuku broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, Saotome-san," she said.

Ranma-Neko looked confused. "Why is Nuku Nuku sorry?" he asked.

"Nuku Nuku... made Saotome-san sick from riding Ryunosuke's bicycle."

"That's okay, Nuku Nuku. Ranma's not that sick anymore. Besides, it was kinda fun!"

Nuku Nuku giggled happily. "Will Saotome-san be Nuku Nuku's friend?"

"Okay, Nuku Nuku! But just call me Ranma!"

"Okay Ranma-kun!"

It was amazing. In the span of ten seconds he had made his first friend! As he looked at Nuku Nuku, a sudden inspiration flooded into his brain. Normal was what happened all the time, right? Ranma wanted him to do what normally happened, right? That meant he should be engaged to this girl!

Ranma-Neko opened his mouth to ask, but unlike Ranma, thought better of it. Maybe Ranma wouldn't like that. Oh well, he'd have to ask him later.

A bright idea flashed into his mind. This he was SURE Ranma would agree to! After all, he always wanted to practice. He wouldn't object if R-Neko trained with Nuku Nuku, would he?

"Nuku Nuku, do you want to play?"

Nuku Nuku's eyes widened and her face lit up into one of her huge smiles. She clasped her hands before her and nodded, beaming with happiness.

"Ranma you jerk! Ranma you jerk!"

"Calm down Akane! Honestly, you constantly get worked up over nothing."

"NOTHING?! He's always with another girl, cheating!"

"Don't you know him at all? He never cheats on anybody! You're just jealous when he even gets near another girl!"

"...Shut up Ukyou!"

"Hey, you know I'm right."

"Approaching target now. Awaiting orders, Lady Akiko."

"Like I said before. No, if he doesn't co-operate, use pilot's discretion."

"My Lady, are you sure-"

"YES, MY LADY! Thank you!"

"Uh oh."

NOTE: Ranma-Neko constantly changes from first to third person. He usually talks in third, but Ranma's eight-year influence caused his speech pattern to fluctuate.

NOTE: In Japan, a male feminist means he is courteous to ladies. A female feminist means she cares only about herself. Strange yet true.

I have to thank Jared (a.k.a. Skysaber) for helping me conclude the opening and the last parts of this chapter. Thanks, and keep up the work on your "Mirrors Multiplied"! Thanks should also be sent to Jim Robert Bader (a.k.a. Shadowmane) for giving me a similar idea for concluding the opening. I'm sorry that I didn't use it very much, Jim! Other thank yous should be sent to Richard Lawson, Wade Tritschler, and to my other Prereaders of the Third Circle.

That's it, I think. Chapter six is already underway, and involves... well, I'm not sure what it involves yet. Maybe ammunition, the search for the missing martial artist, and a new school. Don't take my word for it, I could be completely wrong.

This worker drone does not express the opinions of the hive. Buzz off.


	6. Chapter 6

Rating: Most audiences approved. Contains coarse language.

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted 1998 by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and anyone else who rightfully owns the copyrights. All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku is copyrighted 1992 by Yuuzou Takada/Futuba Sha/King Records/Movic. This fanfic was written entirely for entertainment purposes and NOT for monetary benefit. Please don't sue me. Any similarities with other fanfics are purely coincidental unless stated otherwise.

This is my second attempt at a decent fanfic. This also happens to be my first attempt at prose. Be lenient.

Information is based on the author's experience of the two series. Japanese will only be used when necessary, and NOT to show that this author can speak English with Japanese phrases. Incidents from Ranma 1/2 are based both on the original manga, released by Shogakukan, and the translated one, released by Viz Communications. Incidents from Nuku Nuku are based on subtitled Phases 0I to 0VI, released by ADV Films.

Cybernetic information and theories were partially influenced by the original manga version of Masamune Shirow's Ghost in the Shell. The rest came to me in a dream. You'd be surprised as to the amount of junk that comes to me when I sleep.

Some parts of this fanfic were influenced by Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. If you haven't read any of them, shame on you.

If you've just stumbled upon this, please read the previous chapters to understand anything in this one.

"OH, WHAT OTHER TRAGEDIES MUST I SUFFER ON THE SAOTOME NAME?!"

Kyusaku looked up from his workbench in surprise at Genma, who was bawling his eyes out. That's not like him at all, he thought, he usually just talks in his moronic, solemn way. And crying?! Something was definitely wrong.

"Oy Genma-san, what's the matter?" he asked as he was putting the finishing touches on Ranma.

Genma ignored him and turned his head to face the ceiling of the small appartment. "Oh, my son will never be able to pass on the Saotome school! He's a failure to the Saotome name!"

Kyusaku stared at Genma for a while, not believing his ears. What was he talking about? Ranma was his only son, his pride, and the only candidate for Genma to bully and train! He stopped to light a cigarette before continuing his thought. It was quite amazing, one year of work and Kyusaku had done what other scientists had only dreamed of. All it took was some engineering, nanotech and biotech, and Kyusaku had created the first cybernetic human being! Add that to the fact Ranma would have died had it not been for him, and Genma should have been proud! What was so wrong as to make GENMA of all people decide to curse his offspring?

"Why's he a failure?" This he said aloud. Genma refused to answer. After a few minutes of waiting for him to elaborate, Kyusaku decidedly changed tactics. "Thirsty?" he asked, getting up from the workbench.

Genma looked enraged. "Thirsty?! THIRSTY?! Here I am dwelling on the loss of my only son, my heir and our traditions, and all you can say is thirsty?!" he yelled.

Kyusaku wordlessly went into the kitchen and handed Genma a bottle of Gekkeikan sake. Genma grabbed the proffered bottle and took a swig. Kyusaku silently counted the seconds as Genma took more rapid gulps out of the bottle.

Never ask right away, Kyusaku remembered. Never ask Genma about anything until you get him a good drink or give him lots of food. Once he gets something in his stomach, preferably alcoholic, his tongue unravels. When that happens, his brain locks up. After that, you can pick at his brain at leisure and he'll agree to whatever you say.

There was a cough from Genma, then a hiccup. Kyusaku sat back down at his workbench and checked his mental watch. Thirty seconds on the dot.

"Whoa, he must be seriously depressed if he got drunk so fast," Kyusaku told himself, "he usually hiccups at forty."

He examined the wiring of the Neural Signal Interface while Genma's thoughts marinated in alcohol. When Kyusaku felt Genma was plastered enough, he struck.

"Why is Ranma a failure?" he asked.

Genma faced him, his face flushed and his breath horrible. "*hic* 'S Ranma's no longa... 'uman. 'E canna make... uh, latsa littl', whazza word... kids!" He took another swig of Gekkikan.

Kyusaku looked astonished. Well, he did after he translated the slurred speech in his head. I mean, if he couldn't understand what the hell Genma was saying, why would he be astonished initially? What would be the point of writing this part if Kyusaku didn't have a little difficulty comprehending the language of your common drunk? There would have been little point to this if he managed to unravel what it was Genma was saying, and-

"Do you think you can continue with the story?" asked Ranma-Neko, who was busy munching on a fishstick behind the author.

"Why?" she asked, her face still glued to the monitor.

"I don't think the people reading this would appreciate it if you continue to ramble on like that."

"Right. Okay, but what the heck should I do now that I've started writing that useless paragraph?"

"Do what everyone else does. Continue on with the story and hope no one notices."

"Is there more?" Kyusaku inquired. That couldn't be the only reason, he thought. Genma nodded, or at least tried to lift his head.

"'E canna learn ta... be stron', lika 'is ol' man!" He pounded his chest proudly, yet drunkenly. "Now he stron' like a... train! Too stron'! 'S not dat bad dough."

Kyusaku tried not to laugh at this, after he deciphered it, that is. "Uh huh."

"'S not all. *hic* 'E canna... oh DAMN, 'ad za word, ha' it a secon' ago... ya ge' big and stron' an' da like."

"Exercise?"

"Nonono, 's not dat."

"Um... grow?"

"YA! Dat's da one. *hic* 'E canna do it."

"That all?" the scientist asked with tired patience for the drunkard.

"*hic* Nay, 'e missed one o' dem... damnit, I canna remember... oh yeah, YEARS o'... trainin'."

They were all decent reasons, but Kyusaku highly doubted he could explain the solutions clearly when Genma was drunk and all. He decided to take a shot at it anyway.

"Yeah, interesting points, but I already took them into account," Kyusaku said eventually, but evenly.

Despite his drunken stupor, some words managed to register in Genma's head. "Thou' abou' dem?"

"Yeah. About the kids thing, I only replaced his head, chest, and limbs! Er, I didn't replace any of the perfectly functioning organs. I mean, how's he going to impress the ladies? As for strength, he's still the same."

Genma seemed a little bit more coherent. "Wha'?" he asked. "Ain' 'e a... robot? Ain' robots stron'?"

"Well yes, robots can be in theory super strong, but only if the joints are connected to a sturdy frame of the same material. Ranma's arms and legs are still connected to bone, and if he were to lift something way over his usual strength, he'd dislocate his arms!"

Genma thought this over to the best of his ability. "So wha' you're saying," he said, "is if Ranma wa' completely robot-like, bu' 'e's not, 'e'd be more *hic* powerfu'?"

Kyusaku figured Genma wasn't drunk enough yet. He got the gist of it, after all. "Well yeah," he answered.

"Then why don' ya make 'im *hic* powerfu'?!"

Kyusaku was startled. "Huh?" he asked. "I thought you didn't want him to have incredible strength!"

"A mar'ial ar'ist ain' gonna... turn dow' anna a'van'age 'e can ge'!"

"Advantage? I thought martial arts were based on skill!"

"Well yea', bu' wit Any'hing Goes, ya use anna *hic* a'van'age agains' ya opponen'!"

Kyusaku looked at Genma stupidly for about a second before turning his head down at the 'sleeping' young boy.

"You really only want to see your son as a fighter. An artist of war. Other than that, you don't really care that much about Ranma at all," he concluded, repulsed. "I mean, who throws their son into a near-death situation hundreds and hundreds of times? I've only had Ryunosuke for a few months, but even I already know that being a bad parent will affect his mental state greatly. I know you well enough that you'll try and take advantage of anything if it means you'll get a better life, even if only temporarily. I really wonder what else you did to him Genma, and what you plan on doing to him in the future."

"So, wha' about za trainin'?"

What the heck am I going to do? How to stop Genma from doing these things to his own son?

"Hmm?" Kyusaku was still deep in thought.

"'E missed zome."

"Oh yes. Well, he's still sleeping in a simulated dream I created for him. It's just one full year of practicing at this place. Since you probably already drive him into the ground with training, he won't notice the lack of details," he said absentmindedly.

"Wha' abou' growin' up?"

What to do?

"Sorry? What did you say?"

"'Ow will 'e grow?"

Hmm...

Kyusaku found the circuits of Ranma's left arm quite interesting to look at as he pondered the question. THAT he hadn't thought about. He had spent so many months thinking about Ranma's current situation, and yet he forgot to think about the AFTER. Overlooking something like that was not a good thing in his book. Oh sure, he already thought about the maintenance issues when dealing with an artificial being...

Then, as the complicated gears of the human mind started to turn, Kyusaku slowly removed a fresh cigarette from a package in his lab jacket and carefully placed it in his mouth.

Maybe...

"Well, send him here every month or so. I can give him a checkup and replace parts as needed," he said carefully, lighting a match. "Later, I might find out how to make him grow on his own."

Genma burst into laughter, startling him. "'S A GREA' IDEA! KYUSAKU, YOU' A *hic* GENIUS! I'M EN'IRELY INNA DEBT WIT YA!"

In debt with me? Genma's in debt with anyone who gives him food. But if he really does owe me a debt of honour...

Excellent.

"Really? Hmm... Well, there's also this thing I want for you to do for me..."

Ranma, you're not going to suffer like this again. Not if it takes all my creative genius to stop it.

Unbeknownst to the drunken martial artist, the scientist smiled with a predatory gleam in his eyes...

RANMA 1/2 and ALL-PURPOSE CULTURAL CAT-GIRL NUKU NUKU

PROJECT NK-RANMA

Written by Celeste Byrd

CHAPTER SIX: The Game of the Gods

"KYUSAKU!"

Kyusaku sighed and put down his tools. He knew he should of seen it coming, his wife sending POISON FOUR and all, but he didn't think they'd make so much NOISE! He ran out of the appartment and shook his fist at the helicopter/plane hybrid.

"Quiet down! Do you want to upset the entire neighbourhood?!" he yelled.

Shrill laughter could be heard. "Our Lady could care less if we talk as loud as we want!"

"Actually, I think my wife would. She wouldn't want her two goons to ruin the reputation of her company now, would she?"

There was a small pause. "That's not the point! The point is that Lady Akiko wants you to give the runaway android back to her!"

"What? Not after Ryunosuke anymore?"

"Er, him too!"

Kyusaku decided then and there that the combined IQ of his wife's henchwomen equaled that of a rock. No wait, rocks didn't think at the top of their voices. He searched through his list of ignorance tactics and chose number eight.

"'I don't know what you're talking about!'" he stated loudly.

"Don't give us that crap! We know you sent that android!"

Okay, maybe a little bit more than a rock, Kyusaku amended. "Why do you guys want him back so much?" he asked.

"None of your business! Give him here!"

"Well, I can't do that if all we're going to do is play Dodge the Question!"

"Alright, no more bullshit!" Kyusaku slammed the door. "HEY! I'M TALKING HERE! COME BACK OUT AND TAKE WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!"

"SHUTUP!" Kyusaku yelled from behind the door.

"OH YEAH?! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, HUH?! SEND YOUR HIGH-SCHOOL ANDROID AT US?!

"WELL, I THINK MAYBE I WILL!" Kyusaku lit another cigarette and yelled at the top of his voice. "NUKU NUKU!"

Silence greeted his shout.

"Huh?" Kyusaku scratched his head and searched the appartment. "Where'd she go off to?"

The yelling didn't really affect the residents of this part of Nerima. After all, this happened at least once a week. People looked up, shrugged, and went back on with their business. However, it did manage to attract the attention of a certain trio out looking for a certain martial artist on this Sunday afternoon.

Akane stopped her death chant to see an attack chopper hovering near an appartment complex two blocks away. Ukyou and Nabiki craned their heads to listen, but couldn't hear anything beyond the rumble of the engines.

"What do you suppose is going on?" Ukyou asked. Nabiki shrugged.

"Bet you it's that cross-dressing pervert," mumbled Akane.

Nabiki looked at her sister interestedly. "I can give you odds for that if you want," she answered.

"Do you always have to make a profit, Nabiki?" asked Ukyou.

"Of course not," came the reply, "I only try to make a profit if the situation seems profitable."

"Which is about everything when it comes to you," muttered Akane.

Nabiki glanced at Akane. "Not really. Like that time I caught Ranma accidentally peeping on Kasumi in the bath. Oops, shouldn't have said that."

Ukyou sighed as Akane continued to seethe. "Just like Nabiki to try and get people angry enough to be willing to pay anything," she thought. "I hope Ranchan doesn't get hurt too badly from Akane's peculiar brand of 'affection.'"

Akane's line of thought was much less coherent, and quite typical of the girl. However, this line of thought expressed by the youngest Tendou girl could have easily been translated as follows: "Ranma, you perverted freak! Three fiancees isn't enough, now you have to go after my sister?! Pervert! I'll kill you!"

Nabiki watched as Akane started to glow a bright red. "It's amazing," she thought, "I tell a simple lie and Akane takes it at face value." Being Nabiki, her mind started to wrap around the implications and the possibilities.

"Um, I think we better find out what the hell is going on with that chopper," said Ukyou, derailing all tracks of thought. She broke into a run, the Tendou girls soon trailing after her.

"Arisa, Arisa! HEY!" Kyouko was tapping on her partner's helmet. Arisa turned off the microphone. "What?!"

"You're going to use the dummy missiles, right?"

"Of course! I'm not THAT stupid! You know I only use the real warheads outside the city!"

Kyouko wondered briefly if Arisa even had experience firing live warheads at all but decided not to press the point.

"Why can't you ever NOT use the weaponry, Arisa?" she asked instead. She was greeted by a pause. "Wait, forget I said that."

Arisa harumphed and turned the microphone back on. "Kyusaku! Are you going to comply or not?!" she shouted.

Kyouko tapped her on the shoulder. "Arisa," she said, "calm down!"

"No! I will not!"

Kyouko clenched her teeth. "Geez, stop being so unreasonable!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are t-"

"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!"

Both froze in tabloid, then slowly turned to see Kyusaku close his window. Kyouko removed her helmet and scratched her head. "Now how did he know we were arguing?" she asked.

Arisa looked sheepish. "I forgot to turn off the mike."

"Oh."

From outside the viewport, the women could see Kyusaku place a piece of paper against the appartment window. They pressed their noses against the glass in effort to see what was on it.

The paper had a rather crudely drawn picture of a happy face-with a tongue sticking out of its mouth. It did convey its message, however.

"Why you-!" Arisa growled. In a rage, she slammed down on the FIRE button.

Akiko sat back at her desk, waiting for any word from POISON FOUR. And to tell the truth, she was feeling quite impatient. It had been what, six or seven minutes since dispatching Mishima's pride and joy? Being a high-born executive, Akiko of course did not know the meaning of patience. She wanted some results, and NOW. She idly thought of docking their pay for taking so long, but instead thought of canceling their bonus for the fifth time. After all, she thought, they still have to pay for that space shuttle they sunk in the Pacific...

FLASHBACK...

"By the way Arisa, Kyouko, what happened to the Mishima shuttle you used to destroy the weapons satellite?"

The two women looked at each other. "Er, we don't know," replied Kyouko.

"Huh? How could you not know? How did you get down?"

"Er, ah, we landed the shuttle but er, misplaced it as we got out."

"WHAT? How could you misplace a SHUTTLE? Did it just suddenly sprout legs and disappear? Where did you land it then?"

"Um..."

Akiko shook her head. Just like the two to think they could keep a totaled space shuttle a secret. No one was THAT clueless-not even her.

She waited and waited. A few minutes later she started to pace around the office, occasionally looking out the window for any sign of POISON FOUR. After a while Akiko got bored of this, and she sat back down at her desk. Finally, she decided she would call up Kyusaku herself and give him a piece of her mind. As she was about to do so, Akiko noticed a folder left on her desk. Silently cursing the secretarial section of the building for lack of organization, she opened it. Inside the folder was a thin, neatly stapled report titled "POISON FOUR: Technical Designs and Specifications." Kyusaku momentarily forgotten, and for a lack of anything better to do, she opened it and idly flipped through the pages.

"'Mishima Heavy Industries P-290 Positioning Outmaneuverable Inclusive Stealth Operational Negotiator Aerial Combat Unit Revision Four,'" she read aloud. That was a new one on her. POISON actually meant something?

She continued to read. "'POISON A.C.U. Four specifications: 32 metres from wingtip to wingtip, 15 metres from front to back, 4 metres high with landing gear, 12000 kilograms maximum load.'"

It was unusual to find a Japanese person having grown up using the Imperial system of measurement, but Akiko was one such person. She pulled out a calculator and did the math.

"Let's see... 12000 kilos is about 26400 pounds, and 32 metres is roughly... 105 feet."

Feeling immensely proud for knowing some completely obscure knowledge, and finding that reading the document was marginally more interesting than waiting, Akiko read on.

"'Dual MHI GT-35 rotary system generators, emergency non-afterburning F-404-F1D2 engine...'"

Akiko felt a headache coming on. "I don't need to know these things! Why did the R &amp; D department have to make it hard to... oh wait, they included diagrams."

She studied the detailed sketches of the engines, tracing a finger along the neatly stenciled lines of the GT-35 sketch. From within her came the feeling of tremendous pride. She knew it had taken a fair percentage of the Mishima technical staff (as well as a small percentage of last year's manufacturing profits) to redesign the original plans and put forth a machine worthy of the Mishima name. Yes, POISON FOUR was the mammoth of all aerial fighting units, and the most technologically advanced one too.

A paragraph on the next page caught her attention as she brought herself out of her glorious stupor. Not knowing why it managed to do so, Akiko decided to read it.

"'Because of the advanced architecture within the computer system and the improvements within the weapons assembly, the POISON A.C.U. R4 can handle launching up to twenty missiles of three different types simultaneously as well as firing a minimum of forty rounds of ammunition per second. Unfortunately due to the change in the specifications, the A.C.U. cannot handle the usual conventional weaponry manufactured by MHI. All weapons have been custom-made through R &amp; D department six, and as of yet imitation weaponry has not been implemented.' What in the world does that mean?"

Suddenly, as the paragraph roughly translated itself in the depths of Akiko's mind, it meant: no duds, no blanks, no safety.

"WHAT?! Why didn't they tell me before I sent Arisa after that runaway android?!" she yelled to no one in particular. She forcefully calmed herself down and gazed out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of POISON FOUR.

"I'm sure Arisa will check her weapons first before firing," she thought. As soon as that thought was completed, a new one entered her head. Unfortunately, this one was more accurate and to the point. She started to bite on a handkerchief. "Oh no! I really hope my Ryunosuke wasn't home! Oh, Ryunosuke! Mama's so very sorry! Oh my baby!"

"Thank you for inviting me to your uncle's place again, Yoshimi-chan!"

Ryunosuke stepped out of the car and waved his friend goodbye. Ever since Hagiwara Yoshimi's uncle refurbished the land rover his father had totaled a few years back, Yoshimi had insisted they use it rather than Nuku Nuku's bike. Recalling the first time Yoshimi experienced Nuku Nuku's pedaling, Ryunosuke had agreed. Nuku Nuku usually went as well, but with his mom currently intent on crushing his dad with the usual unconventional gunpower, she had to stay with Kyusaku in the event of an attack.

He shook his head sadly. Why was his mom so unpredictable? One minute, they could live together as a proper family, and the next, Akiko would pull out the rifle hidden in the couch and demand guardianship of him. Ryunosuke often wondered why they didn't divorce, like a typical unstable household in the States.

"I guess they still love each other," he thought, "and even if they didn't, they both have the honour of their clans to uphold."

Yoshimi's uncle Shinichi had dropped him off at the corner, near the appartment he and his father had been "hiding" in for the past four years. As Ryunosuke ambled towards home, he noticed POISON FOUR hovering gently overhead. Immediately, he realized the implications.

"Here we go again," he said, sighing as he started to jog.

Nuku Nuku charged at Ranma-Neko, her fist extended. Ranma-Neko sidestepped, brushing Nuku Nuku's punch to one side, then countered with an upward kick that Nuku Nuku managed to flip over. Nuku Nuku landed in a crouch, and shot out her leg in an attempt to trip him. Ranma-Neko jumped up, legs spread apart. He jabbed at Nuku Nuku's head with two fingers and used them to vault himself over her. Just as he landed, Nuku Nuku tackled him from behind, startling him. They both ended up in the dirt, Ranma-Neko's borrowed shirt already needing the care of a laundromat.

Immediately, Ranma-Neko rolled back up to his feet and assumed a defensive stance. He watched warily as Nuku Nuku stood up, looking for any less-than-obvious opening. It wasn't as if Nuku Nuku knew any martial arts, he told himself, but over the years her feline battle instinct must of piled up with a lot of experience in combat. She's used to fighting a lot.

"Cat-Fist," he thought bemusedly. "I'm kinda glad Ranma's still asleep. He might be mad at me for playing with a girl, and he might be scared that she's using Neko's technique. Still, at least this is good practice."

Ranma-Neko was a little too caught up in his thought that he almost didn't notice Nuku Nuku leap at him again. Of course, by the time he did notice it, he was sprawled on the ground once more, Nuku Nuku pinning his shoulders.

"Give up yet, Ranma-kun?" she asked cheerfully.

"No way!" Ranma-Neko struggled for a moment before grabbing her sides and trying to flip her over. Big mistake. Ranma-Neko forgot to take into account Nuku Nuku's weight, and ended up having Nuku Nuku lose her balance and dropping her entire mass onto the hapless boy.

"Oops," Nuku Nuku said as she got off Ranma-Neko and tried to shake him awake. "Is Ranma-kun okay?"

When he didn't respond, Nuku Nuku started to worry. "Ranma-kun? Ranma-kun? Ranma? Ranma! Ranma! Ran-"

Ranma-Neko's hands shot out once more, but instead of trying to lift Nuku Nuku up, he started to tickle her. Soon, Ranma-Neko was leaning over a downed and very ticklish cat girl.

"Give up Nuku Nuku?" he asked. Nuku Nuku giggled her consent, too hysterical to talk. Ranma-Neko promptly stood up and waited for the laughter to stop.

"That's not fair! Ranma-kun cheated!" Nuku Nuku yelled at him as she calmed down. Ranma-Neko smiled.

"Ranma wins! Nyah nyah!"

"Nuku Nuku's not finished yet!"

She was about to launch herself at him again when she realized something. "AAAH! Nuku Nuku forgot!"

A curious look swept Ranma-Neko's face. "What's wrong?"

Nuku Nuku looked panicky. "Nuku Nuku forgot she was supposed to protect Papa-san!"

Recognition dawned on Ranma-Neko's face. "Uh oh," was all he could think to say.

"I can't believe you plan on doing this!"

Fate glanced up from the television set. It is said the gods like to play games with the lives of men, but it is often wondered what games are being played. This game for instance, did not involve dice, any type of playing cards, no stupid pieces of paper. No, this game was the game of life, and the world was the playing board. "What are you talking about, Destiny?" he asked.

"You know what I'm talking about! Those Nerima residents we find amusing to mess around with?" Destiny snarled. Often enough, Fate would cross Destiny whenever she tried anything for herself. It infuriated her to no end.

"Ah. You mean that dreadful machine floating in the air without any imitation warheads, about to launch its spell of death, and the fact most of them are converging to that exact spot. And you believe I'm ruining your plans."

"Right! Insofar as I know about that Saotome child, it's one thing to hit a concrete floor, quite another to be hit by a temperature normally associated with nuclear cores."

Fate smiled. "You seriously believe I would mercilessly destroy my most valuable form of entertainment."

Destiny looked confused. "You plan to spare their fate?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"They simply are not fated to leave the mortal coil this way. Now, if you would care to have a seat and find out?"

Of course, whenever the game of life was played among the gods, one must wonder if they ever looked at the rulebook. And whenever a game is played by Fate, you can bet your arse the goddesses of Chance and Luck are closeby, ready to turn the tables.

A salvo of missiles shot out of POISON FOUR and converged on the tiny appartment complex. Ryunosuke came to a stunned halt on the stairs as a massive explosion engulfed his home. The resulting blast generated air currents powerful enough to send POISON FOUR spiraling away, while below, the heat waves almost caught two Tendous and one Kuonji's clothes on fire. The air currents also managed to lift something red away from the blast radius and onto another building.

Ranma-Neko and Nuku Nuku landed on the roof of another building, Kyusaku between them. Thankfully, the scientist was just fine save for his burnt clothing and his singed hair. Ranma-Neko winced. His leg was acting up again. Feeling safe for the time being, Ranma-Neko turned his thoughts inward.

"Ranma?"

"Yeah, what is it?" a sleepy thought-voice replied.

"Somebody just tried to kill us."

There was a moment of silence as this statement was considered, and then...

"Can you handle it? I'm tired."

Ranma-Neko was about to rebuke saying that if Ranma didn't get his ass up here he was going to have a very long sleep with the rest of them, but decidedly held the proverbial tongue in check. Rather, he said: "Uh, okay. But this situation is like, REALLY life-threatening."

"Which of the 304 occasions weren't?"

"And they're going about it in a weird helicopter with missiles."

"What?! Alright! That's certainly different!"

"But Neko thought Ranma wanted to sleep!"

"Not when I'm gonna get killed in a rather unusual way!"

Neko mentally shook his head and dove under the surface of Ranma's now fully conscious mind. Ranma focused his eyes on the helicopter. Nuku Nuku's ears deployed. Kyusaku ran down the stairs and over toward his son, who was still a bit shaken.

Kyouko looked over the back of the pilot's seat at Arisa. "Arisa? Didn't you say you were going to use DUD missiles?"

Arisa laughed nervously. "Oh, the maintenance folks must've loaded the tubes incorrectly. I'll switch to another magazine." She flicked the switch, noticing with growing terror that Nuku Nuku and the new android were staring at POISON FOUR with the flames of rage in their eyes.

Kyouko noticed them too, and said, "um, I think some altitude would be nice right about now."

Arisa agreed.

Ukyou gazed in horror at the blossoming explosion of the missile barrage. Nabiki looked on with her usual blank face, and Akane showed sudden if rather brief concern. If something was blowing up, it was probably Ranma's fault anyway.

Ranma and Nuku Nuku leapt as one for the combat helicopter, but Arisa yanked on the controls and flew out of range. Pivoting the plane, she launched another volley of what she hoped to be dummy missiles.

She was a little bit lucky. Only three out of four missiles detonated, and the rooftop exploded in a hail of flame.

"It's okay," Arisa nervously sweated. "So they loaded it wrong. There's still four more missile caches. ONE of them has to be loaded with imitations."

Ranma and Nuku Nuku staggered out of the flaming debris.

"I think this has gone TOO FAR!" Ranma declared, absentmindedly patting the fires out of his clothing. Nuku Nuku nodded her agreement.

Ranma looked up at POISON FOUR hovering way up in the sky. It was far too high for him to jump normally. All he needed was a little leverage...

He looked around. He saw Akane, Ukyou and Nabiki near the road, but because their eyes were up at POISON FOUR, they didn't see him. Beside him, Nuku Nuku was staring at the helicopter with narrow eyes. There were no buildings within running distance...

Ranma turned to Nuku Nuku. "Look, do you mind if I use your head for a second?" he asked, knowing the question sounded very ludicrous. To his surprise however, Nuku Nuku nodded firmly and braced herself. After getting the reassurance from Ranma-Neko that she could handle it, Ranma shrugged, and used her head as a springboard. The technique itself was a variant of Akane's punt-Ranma-into-orbit maneuver, except with them below you, you flew up into the air.

Arisa stared in astonishment as the boy-android vaulted off the cat girl and sailed right up towards her canopy. She was so stunned over the fact Ranma was able to reach POISON FOUR that she didn't think of dodging. Ranma landed on POISON FOUR's cockpit window and began punching it, cracks forming immediately. She hauled back on the yoke and POISON FOUR rose another couple of thousand metres in the air. Arisa grinned at the android, feeling a sense of deja vu.

"Do you think the geniuses at Mishima Heavy Industries never learn their lessons? Your 'girlfriend' already tried that!"

Ranma was about to ask who was she talking about when POISON FOUR ejected the canopy he was clinging to.

All right, that's twice in the same day I'm falling, he thought. Okay, falling is fine. Falling is something I'm used to. Hell, I spend more time dropping outta the sky than I do awake in school.

Very minor problem.

At this point, POISON FOUR chased after him, letting loose round after round of chain gun ammunition.

Okay, check that. We have a problem here, bigtime.

"Er Neko, you wouldn't happen to have any backup plans?" Ranma asked. "No?"

He twisted, swerved, veered and dodged, applying the Saotome school of midair combat to the best of his ability. He ran into a problem when one volley managed to blow off his good leg, but that was a minor detail. He was more concerned about the ground coming up to meet him again, and this time, there would be nothing to absorb the fall. He closed his eyes, waiting for the impact.

It never came. Nuku Nuku appeared out of the sky and caught him on the peak of her own vaulting leap. She batted open eyes at him, landing on the ground. "Ranma-kun okay?"

Kyusaku was getting into his car after helping Ryunosuke into his seat when the vehicle bounced and a foot tore through the roof. He stared at it numbly, half-expecting it to be Eimi-chan or someone Nuku Nuku had tossed onto the car. After waiting several moments he looked out over the car and onto the roof. The leg ended just slightly above the knee, wires and metal rods protruding at odd angles. The opening was also covered in blood. Kyusaku recognized it. He would of all people, because the serial number imprinted on one of the rods was a dead giveaway. Kyusaku snapped back into the car, force-starting the ignition and peeling off towards the MHI building.

"Ranma's going to need that leg!"

Nuku Nuku landed next to three stunned young ladies. Ignoring them for a moment with her back facing them, she cuddled Ranma's semi-conscious form.

"Ranma-kun? Ranma-kun? You okay?"

Ranma groaned. "I'm not sure I want to be. Urgh." And then he saw Akane.

"Uh, Akane! It's not what it looks like, honest!"

Had either one of the Tendou sisters or Ukyou noticed Ranma's leg, or lack of, they would have at least calmed down. Too bad they were too busy sizing up the strange girl carrying him.

Akane's battle aura started to glow.

Nabiki eyed the cat girl critically, sizing her up.

Ukyou hefted her combat spatula.

Ranma, under considerable stress, fainted.

Nuku Nuku, noticing the increasing hostility behind her and the scent of fear registering from Ranma, promptly made haste.

"Nuku Nuku get you away and we can play again, okay?" she said to the prone martial artist.

Understandably, Akane got really MAD as she heard that.

"RRRAAAANNNNNMMMMMMAAAAAAA!"

Nabiki wondered if she MIGHT have made a mistake in goading her little sister earlier. She didn't want any casualties on her hands. Well, Ranma didn't count. She knew he could play chicken with a roller coaster if he wanted to. Who knew about the girl?

Ukyou had already leapt away and was following the fleeing couple. Akane pulled out her mallet and jumped after at a speed Nabiki couldn't hope to follow.

NOTE: F-404-F1D2 engines are used on the US Lockheed F-117A and some other stealth planes, I believe. I felt having one on POISON FOUR for emergency purposes would be neat. The name GT-35 is fictional. I just needed one for those massive helicopter-like engines.

NOTE: If you haven't already guessed, the acronym for POISON is made up. If you think you could come up with a better one, send it to me and I'll see if it does sound cooler.

NOTE: If you also haven't already thought about it, any single word I wrote in CAPITALS does not mean I was shouting it or the character was. It's just to indicate a change in the voice. I find it faster and neater than using asterisks, square brackets, underscores, etc.

NOTE: All cybernetic theories "hidden" in this and the previous chapter are just that, theories. They could be true, they could be applied to the normal (sort of) laws of the universe. I figured an explanation was needed and there we go.

NOTE: I spelt apartment wrong consistently throughout the fanfic. Why? I spent my entire life thinking it was spelt 'appartment', and I really have no inclination of changing right now.

Once again, I have to thank Jared (a.k.a. Skysaber) for his helpful input (I liked the Nuku Nuku bathroom idea, but people aren't going to see it happening unless it's in Ranma's dreams... as for the others, you know I'm gonna be flamed up my arse if I even employ one of them, so why the hell not in a later one!), Jim Robert Bader (a.k.a. Shadowmane) for his opinions on my cybernetic theories ("I don't see it happening" and "I can't see Ranma as a cyborg" were my favourites, but at least you entertained the idea and gave me some additional support) and his spelling checks, Richard Lawson (so when do you plan on responding to the last four chapters?), Wade Tritschler for his grammatical warfare (sorry about chapter five and Nabiki's dialogue! Don't send those missiles you have locked up in your room somewhere!), and to my other Prereaders of the Third Circle (as soon as half of you guys actually reply to chapter five).

Apologies to the people mentioned above whom will take offense at my banter. I'm just having a little fun, not to mention currently on the median part of my insanity cycle.


End file.
